Late-night jokes: 'Strategically ignoring Confederate flags'

January 18, 2012 

Late-night jokes about the S.C. GOP presidential campaign and candidates:

THE COLBERT REPORT

Stephen Colbert: “The South Carolina GOP primary campaign is in full swing. Candidates are shaking hands, kissing babies and strategically ignoring Confederate flags.”

• • •

Colbert on his relationship with Stewart, runs his PAC: “(It’s) basically a money placenta. I give him nothing and Jon nourishes me in a warm embryonic bath of strategy and cash until I slide out all wet and electable.”

• • •

(In a related note, Herman Cain tells Fox News he's in on Colbert's joke to have S.C. voters cast ballots for Cain as a show of support for Colbert. Also it appears Colbert will visit the state on Friday.)

JAY LENO

"Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita."

• • •

"Newt Gingrich has released a new ad attacking Mitt Romney because he knows how to speak French. Well Mitt Romney is not the only one. Jon Huntsman speaks Chinese and Rick Perry speaks gibberish."

THE DAILY SHOW

Perry from Monday’s debate: “South Carolina is at war with this federal government and with this administration.”

Jon Stewart: “War against the government led by South Carolina! That always has good ending, right?”

• • •

Mitt Romney on MSNBC: “If we coordinate (with a super PAC) in any way whatsoever, we go to the big house.”

Stewart: “Which one of your big houses do you go to: the beach house or the ski chalet?”

• • •

(After showing Newt Gingrich’s debate comments that he would help poor African Americans get and keep a job instead of receive food stamps.)

Stewart: “And so it was that on Martin Luther King Day, Newt Gingrich shared his vision of an America where people will be judged not by the color of their skin but by him, Newt Gingrich. And he finds them lazy.”

• • •

Stewart and Colbert had a funny exchange about “not coordinating” between the candidate and his super PAC, including whether to buy TV time for ad in Columbia:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Colbert Super PAC - Not Coordinating with Stephen Colbert
www.thedailyshow.com
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