Avoid knee-jerk responses
Nineteen-year-old Ano Nymous stole his father’s 2012 Chevy Silverado to drive some 500 miles to Any Town, S.C., where he crashed the vehicle through a chain link fence at the town’s only public playground. Nymous proceeded to run down as many children and adults as he could manage before running out of fuel. Local authorities are at a loss as to why anyone would commit such an act of violence. State authorities are blaming Ano Nymous for striking more than a dozen pedestrians during his drive to Any Town.
Parents claim that Ano Nymous was diagnosed as a violent psychopath at age 5, but he has never received sufficient treatment. Nonetheless, police were called to the family’s home last year when Ano drove his mother’s Highlander through a neighbor’s house.
Vice president Loon, dusting off the familiar anti-vehicle attacks against the world’s automobile manufacturers, delivered an emotional appeal, “This vehicular slaughter of innocent people must stop! Now is the time to force the evil auto industry out of business!”
Meanwhile, congressional leaders have pledged swift, knee-jerk action to pass stricter auto controls limiting the size, weight and range of all automobiles sold in the United States after the year 2013.
If this sounds somewhat befuddled to intelligent people, remember: These are the same arguments for gun control.
William Piergiovanni
Greer
