Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Mike Shanahan clears RGIII to help carry furniture down some icy steps.”

• In the Ashtabula (Ohio) Star Beacon: “Hall, no!”

Stat of the day

One of Texas’ state high-school football title games last fall drew a crowd of 48,379 — or more than 18 of the 35 college bowl games did — and another outdrew 13 bowls.

Marketing 101

“Where’s the Beef?” which first aired in 1984, was a TV commercial endorsing:

a) Wendy’s

b) BALCO

Ice cold

“Economists say Canadian interest rates remain low heading into 2013,” noted RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “But enough about the NHL.”

Checking Down Under

Attention, track-and-field buffs: The Nude Olympics begin Jan. 20 at Maslin Beach near Adelaide, Australia.

Events include sack races, Frisbee throwing and — everyone’s favorite — the picket-fence hurdles.

Paging Dr. Haney

LPGA Hall of Famer Annika Sorenstam is sporting stitches in the pointer finger on her left hand after cutting it in a cooking accident last week.

In other words, she needed a little work on that slice.

Quote marks

• Dr. Rick Sponaugle, to AP, on the brain damage ex-QB Bernie Kosar accumulated in 13 NFL seasons: “Bernie, in effect, put his head through the windshield every Sunday.”

• Reader Shirley Hemphill, to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on conjecture that Falcons owner Arthur Blank will clean house if the Seahawks win Sunday: “If Mrs. Blank can be let go, no one is immune.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSports Babe.com, after Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said leaving “is not an option” — then interviewed with the Eagles: “Maybe Brian can stop by the confessional on his way out.”

• TNT’s Conan O’Brien, on why he had no desire to watch this year’s BCS title game: “I was home for the holidays, so I’ve had quite enough of the Fighting Irish.”

The Seattle Times