Golfer 1,

Spider 0

Swedish golfer Daniela Holmqvist used a tee to drain out the venom — and finish her round — after a deadly spider got her on the leg at an LPGA tournament qualifier in Australia.

Coincidence? Holmqvist’s approach shots suddenly had a lot more bite to them.

Bad Magic

The NBA suspended Orlando forward Hedo Turkoglu for 20 games after he tested positive for steroids.

Serves his coaches right for telling him to take it strong to the basket.

Headlines

At Fark.com: “IOC president to meet with head of wrestling’s governing body to discuss how big of a bribe is needed to save its Olympic status.”

At TheOnion.com: ”Cubs, Absence From World Series agree to 4-year extension.“

Bumping it outside

The NFL, saying players keep getting bigger and faster, has formed a committee to study making the playing field wider.

Apparently Packer foes complained it’s getting tougher and tougher to run around B.J. Raji and stay inbounds.

Half-dressed for success

Maybe it was just a production oversight, but SI swimsuit cover model Kate Upton forgot to put her top on this year.

Quote marks

Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, after four Alabama football players were arrested in connection with two armed robberies: “Parole Tide.”

CBS’ David Letterman, on Westminster Kennel Club perks: “The winner of the dog show gets a beautiful blue ribbon and a toilet full of champagne.”

King Felix’s mound of cash

If Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez ever wanted to stack the proceeds of his new $175 million contract — one crisp $1 bill every second — it would take him more than 51/2 years to finish.

And his pile of ones would be nearly 12 miles high!

The Seattle Times