Columbia, SC — Christianity should pause during this holiday season and thank the following groups for their unwavering support: newspapers and magazines that print pro-Christianity columns and letters while censoring opposing views; Christian schools and colleges dedicated to indoctrinating America’s youth; a Republican Party waging biblically inspired wars on women (i.e. misogyny), homosexuals and nature and that would transform America into a Christian theocracy if given the chance.
Mostly, though, Christianity should thank the hundreds of millions of afflicted Christians addicted to its promises of forgiveness, salvation and eternal life and who deny reality. It should be especially thankful for their biblical illiteracy, a debilitating handicap that allows them to believe that:
1. The Old and New Testaments are compatible. Actually, they take radically different approaches to Satan and the origins of evil, the monotheistic god, eternal life and exorcisms.
2. Jesus told Peter in Matthew 16:18, “thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church.” It’s almost certain Jesus never said that, because he was an apocalypticist who believed the world’s end was imminent 2,000 years ago and said so repeatedly (as in Mark 9:1: “there be some …here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God”).
3. Jesus came for everyone (John 3:16). There’s compelling evidence Jesus only came for Jewish sinners, as he states over and over (for example, in Matthew 15:24: “I was sent to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, and to them alone”).