Southern Charm recap: Boykin, boars and baby talk

(Hilton Head) Island PacketApril 15, 2014 

'Southern Charm' debuts March 3 on Bravo. From left are Witney Sudler-Smith, Thomas Ravenel, Craig Conover, Cameran Eubanks, Jenna Lee King, William Shepherd "Shep" Rose III.

BRAVO — ROBERT ASCROFT

On episode seven of "Southern Charm," a weekend retreat to the woods seems to be the perfect respite from the drama unfolding in Charleston.

Things have been getting a little tense in the Holy City, what with T-Rav's awful "Glass Menagerie" speech and Craig accusing Kathryn of sleeping with three cast members. So on this week's show, the crew heads out on a road trip to Shep's family farm in Boykin, S.C.

But first, Cameran sells a house--to Whitney--although she admittedly doesn't feel great about getting her first commission from finding him a new "stabbin' cabin." Whatever. It has a great layout for parties!

Kathryn addresses Craig's accusations (kinda) when she and T-Rav go for a walk on the Battery, drinks in hand (which is, um, illegal, right?)

"I'm not a liar. I wasn't raised that way." Kathryn states defiantly. T-Rav accepts this at face value and doesn't press her further, clearly unwilling to be proven otherwise.

With that speed bump behind her, Kathryn decides it's high time she introduces her dear old beau to the fam at the Moncks Corner plantation. At dinner, the sweet tea starts flowing and the Dennises take to T-Rav surprisingly well. Even when Mr. Dennis pulls T-Rav aside for what was hopefully going to be a stern grilling, the two devolve into jovial banter and agree they both only want what's best for little Kit Kat. They must've been friends from grammar school or something. Or whatever they called it back then.

Next, Shep, Whitney and T-Rav load up for the farm. Whitney, being Whitney, brings an expensive-looking gun and Louis Vuitton overnight bag. Craig and JD head over in a separate car, because unlike their wealthy, jobless friends, they have to work.

The boys have a quiet night at Shep's awesome hunting cabin and rise at the crack of dawn for some good ol' boar hunting. Except not T-Rav. Being the felon that he is, he is not allowed to operate any firearms. So he gets to sleep in.

After a long, muddy day of hunting and still no pig, the boys return to the cabin and await the arrival of the ladies.

"The estrogen is here to ruin your party!" Cameran announces as they enter. And since they brought Kathryn, the party is pretty much ruined. The poor babe is so enamored with T-Rav that she spills to the other gals that she's ready for marriage and a baby. Cameran, Jenna, Danni and the rest of watching world roll their eyes accordingly.

T-Rav is equally smitten, and tells Kathryn he could hardly sleep last night without her by his side. Before they shack up for the night, however, Whitney has a bomb to drop.

I wanna come clean, old friend, Whitney says. "Did I hook up with Kathryn in a moment of weakness?

"Yes."

To see T-Rav's full reaction, you'll have to tune in to next week's season finale.

BEST QUOTE: "A Southerner may go out there and sleep with everybody, but they don't talk about it at the dinner table. I mean, that's my great-grandfather's table." -T-Rav

HONORABLE MENTION: "She's beautiful and she has lots of eggs. The men, they can smell that." -Cameran talking about Kathryn

WORST QUOTE: "I see a pole and I just go crazy." -Whitney

BEST SHEP QUOTE: "Believe me, I've got guns."

QUOTE ABOUT SHEP'S WORK-LIFE BALANCE: "He can pop up at 5:30 a.m. to hunt some feral wild boar, but when it comes to work he couldn't give two shits." -Whitney

BEST MOMENT: The boys making a spaghetti dinner at Shep's hunting cabin. For the briefest of moments, they seemed like candid, regular guys just chilling in the woods.

WORST MOMENT: Kathryn telling the girls she thinks she and T-Rav will get married and that she's ready to have a baby. Or pretty much any time she and T-Rav are talking.

IF I HAVE TO HEAR THIS WORD ONE. MORE. TIME. "Old soul." *shudders*

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