BATON ROUGE, LA.
Show me where it happens.
Show me the place on the schedule where the Florida Gators lose.
Never mind. Save yourself the trouble. Nobody is going to beat 'em.
Never miss a local story.
The defense is too good.
Oh, sure, the Tebow kid is a factor, and his return from a concussion suffered two weeks ago was the one-and-only story line leading into Florida's assignment Saturday night at LSU. But allow Gators safety Will Hill to state the case for the defense:
"We knew Tim would suit up, but we didn't know if he would play. We didn't really care. Tim doesn't play defense."
That was Hill after the top-ranked Gators' grinding 13-3 victory against the Tigers, then fourth-ranked, on the road in the lair of Tiger Stadium.
Hill, in other words, figured the fact that having Tebow was a bonus.
That's a stretch, of course, because there's no telling what might have happened to the Gators had they been forced to baptize redshirt sophomore quarterback John Brantley as a starter in such a mean environment. Tebow was more a reliably intelligent manager of the game than a genuine difference-maker against LSU, and was savvy enough to let the defense carry the load.
Florida's very identity this season is that defense, and no less an authority than coach Urban Meyer says so.
"That's what we are right now," Meyer said.
And why not?
The Gators likely have three first-round picks off their defense in the next NFL draft if, as expected, juniors Carlos Dunlap and Joe Haden make themselves available along with senior Brandon Spikes.
That's an astonishing front-to-back combination from Dunlap at defensive end to Spikes at linebacker to Haden at cornerback. That is a primary reason why Florida has allowed two touchdowns in five games. The scoring yields - 3-6-13-7-3 - make for an astonishing set of numbers even given some patsies on the docket.
The surprise at this point would be if an opponent managed to score, say, 21 points against Florida.
Arkansas, which appears to be a pretty good offensive team, gets next crack at the Gators today. But that one is at Florida, and an Ole Miss redux is not in the mix this season.
The Rebels slapped a 31-30 upset on the Gators in The Swamp last year for Florida's only blemish on what turned into a run to the national title. That result turned in no small part on a late 86-yard scoring pass-and-run play by Ole Miss, and serves as a constant and handy reminder to the Gators about nastiest possibilities.
But it ain't happening.
Not against Arkansas, Vanderbilt, Florida International or Florida State in Florida's remaining home games. Not against Mississippi State or South Carolina on the road. Not against Georgia in Jacksonville.
Not against whichever opponent - probably Alabama - shows up in the SEC title game in Atlanta.
Which leaves only the national championship assignment in Pasadena, Calif., against, oh, let's say Texas and its offensive powerhouse.
That might be fun.
But it was Meyer who said it best.
"All the great teams I've been associated with had a great defense," he said.
That's an offensive-minded boss who has Tim Tebow as his quarterback knowing what the story of this Florida season is and always will be.