March 11, 2014

'Southern Charm' recap: Are these Southern gentleman supposed to be charming?

Catch up on the Charleston-filmed reality series, which debuts new episodes at 10 p.m. Mondays on Bravo.

In this week’s episode of "Southern Charm" on Bravo, we got a peek behind the curtain at how these "charming" Southern gentlemen operate. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t pretty.

First, Thomas "T-Rav" Ravenel goes on a date with Shep Rose's ex-girlfriend, Danni. As a reminder, 51-year-old T-Rav hooked up with 22-year-old Kathryn Dennis on last week's episode. Danni appears to be slightly closer to his age, but not by much. We also learn that in addition to bringing his conquests coffee in the morning while wearing tiny robes, T-Rav woos women with periwinkle blankets and improper wine glasses. He also asks Danni if she is a "cunnilinguist" and invites her to go to one of his bedrooms.

DOWNLOAD 'Southern Charm' bingo cards here

That didn't seal the deal for him, so T-Rav invites Danni to his friend J.D.'s dinner party, where, the minute Danni is holding someone else's baby, he says "Find me the right woman and I’ll start impregnating her immediately." Confoundingly, Danni is NOT into it when T-Rav tries to kiss her goodnight.

Next up, Hilton Head Island native Shep shows his needy side when his affections for a girl named MJ are not reciprocated. Shep, not used to rejection, is confused. His solution is to text her constantly, then to tell her on a beach date that his ideal girl would give him constant attention. And back rubs. MJ leaves the beach early. We’re not surprised.

To make himself feel better, Shep hooks up with Kathryn, yes THAT Kathryn, who fellow cast member Craig Conover is also crushing on. Little do they know that T-Rav already crushed her.

POLL: Which SC-filmed reality show is the most embarrassing?  

Feeling spurned, Craig gives Shep a refresher course in Bro-Code 101. Shep's response: Sorry not sorry.

The truth is, nobody on this show has any game. They just try to foist themselves on people hoping their looks and money will get it done.

BEST QUOTE: "Maybe breathing in this thick Charleston air is not good. It somehow stunts their emotional growth." - Cameran on the men in Charleston

BEST SHEP QUOTE: "I just like to be thunk about."

WORST PICK-UP LINE: "I'm f**king taller than you," followed by "I wanna take you home and use you." - Shep to girls at the club. Sadly, it worked.

BEST MOMENT: J.D.'s description of T-Rav: “I don’t know if he would Google well.”

WORST MOMENT: Arthur Ravenel, Jr. giving son T-Rav advice on how to avoid rejection: "Get her pregnant. And if it's a boy child, I'll give him $10,000." This is the man the bridge is named after, people! Then, while paying the bill, he talks about getting rid of his Lincolns. Because $5 bills have Lincoln on them. And he doesn't like Lincoln. We don't really need to say why.

Wait, the REAL WORST MOMENT: That shot of T-Rav's butt in the shower. My eyes!

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