April 22, 2014

Southern Charm recap: Season finale ends with a bang

Monday's finale episode of "Southern Charm" ended the season with a bang at Whitney's Fourth of July party, and we're not just talking about the fireworks.

Monday's finale episode of "Southern Charm" ended the season with a bang at Whitney's Fourth of July party, and we're not just talking about the fireworks.

The episode picks up where last week left off at Shep's hunting cabin, where T-Rav is dealing with the fallout from Whitney's admission of sleeping with Kathryn.

T-Rav gives his sweetie multiple chances to come clean and be honest, but she dodges one question after another and denies any wrongdoing.

Finally, with a sniffle and a tear, Kathryn confirms she did sleep with Whitney. She tries to play it off that Whitney was trying to sabotage their relationship, but T-Rav isn't buying it. At a loss for what to do, he heads to the family church for some religious counsel. His pastor offers up some good, logical advice, telling T-Rav to think with his head and not his heart on this one. Naturally, T-Rav does the complete opposite and reconciles with Kathryn just in time for Whitney's party.

It's true, Whitney has officially moved out of his mother's house! But when he shows off his new digs to mommy, she is less than impressed.

"To quote Betty Davis, 'What a dump,'" she says.

Nothing about the apartment is redeemable in Patricia's eyes. The furniture is brown and ugly and everything looks like it was bought a Home Depot, she says. On sale.

Whitney doesn't have time to dwell on his mother's disapproval, however, because he has a big party to prep for, and 12138 expensive guitars to show off to Cameran. (Who puts a Chanel logo on a Les Paul, anyway?)

At the party, Shep is in high demand after inviting every girl he is currently "talking" to. Danni is understandably miffed, but Shep reassures her he hasn't hooked up with ALL of them. He pulls her aside for a heart to heart talk on the roof where she tells him to grow up. In Shepic fashion, he says (essentially): NO, I'M PETER PAN!

The party ends in fireworks, but "Southern Charm" has an even bigger end in store. The next day, T-Rav tells Kathryn he's been thinking a lot and decides they need to have a serious chat, "face to face." What follows is a breakup scene so blatantly scripted, it makes "Sharknado" seem realistic. Essentially, T-Rav breaks it off and the two share a teary goodbye before Kathryn drives off into the distance. Then, "9 months later," we see a snippet of the happy couple with their new baby girl. For fans who avoid news and don't read blogs like this one, the end is a complete shocker. It's hard to hate them, though. Their drama made the show.

Well Charmers, that's it! After all this, what have we learned?

That Home Depot sells furniture, apparently.

BEST QUOTE: "I'm sorry honey, I know you like this kind of architecture looks kind of Salvation Army-ish to me." -Patricia Altschul about Whitney's new apartment

WORST QUOTE: "I got this gal. She's probably a Fertile Myrtle." -T-Rav

BEST SHEP QUOTE: "I invited every girl I'm talking to. My cup runneth over."

QUOTE THAT SUMS UP SHEP'S LIFE PHILOSOPHY: "I'm not stressed about it. What's the point of being stressed out?"

QUOTE THAT PROVES JENNA WAS MISCAST: "If you wear Lily Pulitzer, you can't be in my bridal party." - Jenna to Cameran. (Jenna is a heretic!)

WISEST QUOTE OF THE ENTIRE SHOW: "When in doubt, don't." -T-Rav's pastor

If you aren't ready to say goodbye to the cast just yet, watch the "Southern Charm" reunion 10 p.m. Monday with host Andy Cohen on Bravo.

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