We have one episode of “Game of Thrones” left this season, and we’re forecasting a bloodbath. So far, none of this year’s departed has been shocking on a Ned Stark level. Some of the deaths were awful – a little girl is burned at the stake, after all – but all of this season’s worst bad guys and most throne-worthy good guys are still in one piece.
There’s no way that can continue.
So who’s next? Might Sansa flay Ramsay Bolton? (A girl can dream.) Will Ser Davos avenge his reading teacher’s death and assassinate Stannis? Can Arya cross another name off her kill list by digging up Needle and using him on Meryn Trant? Or maybe someone we’re routing for – Dany or Jon Snow, say – is in peril. Who knows?
All we can do is look back and bid adieu to this season’s dearly and not-so-dearly departed. Here they are:
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Cause of death: Stannis Baratheon gave Melisandre the go-ahead to sacrifice his own daughter to the Lord of Light by burning her to death.
Why we'll miss her: The plucky little lady was one of the few optimists left in the putrid Seven Kingdoms. She had an adorable relationship with Ser Davos and seemed wise beyond her years. She also allowed us see a more human side of Stannis. It was nice while it lasted.
Cause of death: He was just really old.
Why we'll miss him: The Targaryen-born Maester at Castle Black was a die-hard Jon Snow supporter and always had wise words for anyone who would listen. When Jon was nominated to become Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, Aemon broke the tie and voted for the young whippersnapper. And Aemon defended Jon after he returned from hanging with the wildlings, saying “If we beheaded every ranger who lay with a girl, the Wall would be manned by headless men.” Preach.
Cause of death: He defied the boss, Jon Snow, who chopped off his head.
Why we'll miss him: Let’s see. The disgraced City Watch Commander for King’s Landing turned on Ned Stark, murdered a baby and cowered in fear in the larder during the Battle at Castle Black. Is it wrong to admit that his decapitation was actually pretty satisfying?
Cause of death: Stabbed to death by Sons of the Harpy.
Why we'll miss him: Is there a more loyal guy in the history of the Seven Kingdoms? He was a living legend – one of the best fighters in the whole imaginary world – but he was also a good storyteller and passed on solid advice to Daenerys, urging moderation over revenge. Plus he stood up to Joffrey after getting unceremoniously dismissed from the Kingsguard, which was utterly delightful.
Hizdahr zo Loraq
Cause of death: Stabbed by Sons of the Harpy
Why we'll miss him: It was fun to watch Dany push her betrothed around. We really thought those two crazy kids might make it.
Cause of death: Jon Snow shot him with an arrow as a mercy killing. Otherwise he would have burned to death at the stake for refusing to bow down to Stannis. (What is with Stannis and pyres?)
Why we'll miss him: The hangdog King-Beyond-the-Wall was a diplomatic superhero and all-around reasonable man. He managed to unite disparate groups – the Thenns and giants and Hornfoots, among others – into one army. He just wanted what was best for his people, which was to get to safety on the other side of the Wall. And even when he knew he would be burned to death if he refused to acknowledge Stannis’s sovereignty, he didn’t waver. What a guy.
That old lady who tried to help Sansa
Cause of death: Ramsay Bolton flayed her. Ugh.
Why we'll miss her: It was just nice to know Sansa had an ally.
Local viewing party
Conquest Brewery, one of Columbia’s local breweries, is celebrating the finale of the season of “Game of Thrones” with a special dinner and viewing party Sunday.
The festivities begin at 7 p.m. at the brewery at 947 S. Stadium Road with a dinner catered by Joe Turkaley Catering and Events. Plates cost $8.
On its Facebook page, Conquest urges you to “bring your own stein” to fill during the evening.
The evening will continue with a viewing of the “GOT” finale at 9 p.m. Unlike the series, no blood will be shed at this feast. Just some spilled beer.