Saturday, Jun. 27, 2009

First lady: Sanford sought permission to visit lover

SULLIVAN’S ISLAND — South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford said Friday her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover in the months after she discovered his affair.

“I said absolutely not. It’s one thing to forgive adultery; it’s another thing to condone it.”

Jenny Sanford spoke to The Associated Press during a 20-minute interview in the living room at the coastal home where she sought refuge with their four sons. They were her first extended comments on the affair.

She said when her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford, inexplicably disappeared last week, she hoped he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, as his staff told those inquiring about his absence. That he had dared to go to Argentina to see the other woman stunned her.

“He was told in no uncertain terms not to see her,” she said in a strong, steady voice.

“I was hoping he was on the Appalachian Trail. But I was not worried about his safety. I was hoping he was doing some real soul searching somewhere and was devastated to find out it was Argentina. It’s tragic.”

The Sanfords separated about two weeks ago. She said her husband told the family he wanted some time away to work on writing a book and clear his head.

“I had every hope he was not going to see her,” the first lady said.

“You would think that a father who didn’t have contact with his children, if he wanted those children, he would toe the line a little bit.”

Neither the governor nor his wife publicly has named the woman. Neither did The State, when it initially reported the e-mail correspondence between Sanford’s personal e-mail address and the woman.

Subsequently, the woman has been widely identified — by name, photo and in videos in the Argentine press and worldwide — as Maria Belen Chapur, age 43, a former Argentine TV reporter. Some Argentine news sources spell her last name Shapur.

On Friday, The Associated Press reported the woman’s name was the most widely searched on the Internet, outdrawing Farrah Fawcett or Michael Jackson, who died Thursday.

Sanford, who is staying at the official residence in Columbia, returned Wednesday to end days of speculation on his whereabouts, publicly confess his cheating and emotionally apologize.

Jenny Sanford, a Georgetown-educated, former Wall Street vice president, was not by his side during his public confession.

The first lady said she discovered her husband’s affair early this year after coming across a copy of a letter to the mistress in one of his files in the official Governor’s Mansion when he asked her to get some financial information.

She would not comment on its content except to say “enough to figure out an affair was going on.”

Jenny Sanford said she felt “shocked and obviously deeply hurt. I didn’t think he had it in him. It’s hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he was.”

The first lady said she confronted her husband immediately, and he agreed to end the affair. She said Friday she wasn’t sure whether he had done so.

“I guess that’s what we will have to see. I believe he has. But he was down there for five days. I saw him yesterday and he is not staying here. We’ll just see what kind of spirit of reconciliation he has himself.”

The governor declined to discuss details of the letter and how he handled it with his wife.

“This goes into the personal zone,” Sanford said Friday. “I’d simply say that Jenny has been absolutely magnanimous and gracious as a wonderful Christian woman in this process.”

At the end of the interview, Jenny Sanford cried, saying they have been to counseling.

“When I found out in January, we both indicated a willingness to continue working on the marriage, but there’s not room for three people in a marriage.

“I’ve done everything in my power possibly to keep him from going to see her and to really make sure she was off the table, including asking him to leave.”

For Jenny Sanford, the focus is the couple’s four sons. During her interview, she wept as she displayed the stellar report cards her eldest two sons earned at their exclusive private school in Columbia.

On the coffee table was a collection of devotional books, including a book of commentary on the Bible’s Book of Job, the story of a man whose faith God tests to the extreme.

“Parenting is the most important job there is,” the first lady said, “and what Mark has done has added a serious weight to that job.”

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