It's my understanding there is a big college football game in town Saturday. Is anyone else aware of it?
It seems a pretty hot team is playing a pretty cold one and at stake are winning streaks, bowl games, winning seasons and bragging rights.
Actually, that last one might be more important than the other three combined. After all, if you have to endure 364 days of taunting from that obnoxious brother-in-law,you might need to go underground for a year to escape those agonizing family functions.
I'm not sure if much more will be written about this game before kickoff, but I would like to get my prediction of the final score on record right now: 27-23. Now let's take a quick look back at the top sports headlines of the past week.
Fourth-quarter interception dooms USC's upset bid against No. 1 Florida. Where is one of those false-start penalties when you need it?
C.J. Spiller rushes for a touchdown, throws a touchdown pass and makes a touchdown reception against N.C. State. He also scored a touchdown while selling Cokes in Section 19.
Ohio State headed to Rose Bowl for first time in 13 years. Woody Hayes finally can stop spinning in his grave.
Carolina Panthers make fourth-quarter plays to defeat Atlanta Falcons. All those ready to write off the Panthers, please step away from your keyboards.
Carolina Panthers lose to Miami Dolphins four days later. OK, the season's over. Step back up to the keyboard.
Michelle Wie finally earns first LPGA Tour victory. And you thought she was washed up at age 20.
Bill Belichick's fourth-down gamble sets up Colts' comeback win over Patriots. He might want to wear that hoodie over his head for a few weeks.
Jimmie Johnson eyes his fourth consecutive Sprint Cup title after Chase win at Phoenix International Speedway. Glen Campbell had a great song about the race, "By the time I get to Phoenix, he'll be rising."
Carolina Hurricanes end 14-game winless streak. If a hockey puck drops on the ice, does anybody hear it?
Jon Gruden decides to stay at ESPN through the 2011 season. There's something about former Oakland Raiders coaches that makes them like the broadcast booth.
Tennessee Titans owner fined $250,000 for making obscene gestures to Buffalo Bills fans. Man, that's one expensive bird.
Lane Kiffin dismisses two Tennessee players from team after they are charged with attempted armed robbery. He also dismissed his defense after allowing 42 points to Ole Miss.
Stephen Jackson dealt to the Charlotte Bobcats. This is the guy who put the "grunt" into disgruntled. I give it two months with Larry Brown.
There is talk of a work stoppage over an upcoming labor deal in Major League Soccer. Ask the NHL how that worked out.
LPGA Tour announces the return of the ShopRite Classic after three-year absence. Look out, Masters, the ShopRite is back!
Wofford beats Georgia in men's basketball. Guess Uga discovered these Terriers are pit bulls and not Yorkshires.
Clemson basketball team beats Liberty on road in 10 a.m. game. It's the first recorded instance of college students saying they overslept a basketball game.
Dabo Swinney gives C.J. Spiller new nickname of Dos Ocho to grab attention of Heisman voters. He's hoping that makes them move Spiller from cuatro to uno on their ballots.
Kansas coach Mark Mangino being investigated for abusive behavior toward players. The next stop for Mangino? "The Biggest Loser."
Florida State's Bobby Bowden wants to return for 2010 season. Then he had the FSU cheerleaders line up behind him and chant, "Two, four, six, eighty! Who do we apprecieighty!"
Nine Rhode Island girls high school soccer players suspended for roles in on-field brawl. It's OK because they were getting ready to transition to roller-derby season anyway.
USC basketball team wins first three games of season. Gamecock fans will tell you fast starts are great but fast finishes are better.
Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum wins the NL Cy Young Award. Between this honor, his flowing locks and his recent misdemeanor marijuana charges, I see a Super Bowl Doritos ad in his future.
Landon Donovan lands first MLS most valuable player award. Look, ma, no hands!
Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis to learn fate soon after season's end. Hey, Charlie, maybe you can apply for that soon-to-be Kansas opening.
Memphis Grizzlies waive former MVP Allen Iverson. Paging Larry Brown, paging Larry Brown, please report to the courtesy phone.
Controversial non-call on hand ball helps France keep Ireland out of the World Cup. I told you that you can't trust the French.