In a word, that's the 2009 college football season, which will go down as one of the least memorable and least exciting since the sport's rise in popularity during the early 1990s.
In contrast to last season, when Florida, Oklahoma, Texas and Southern California jostled for BCS supremacy, this was a season devoid of drama.
Before Saturday's controversial finish of the Big 12 championship game between Texas and Nebraska, what was the biggest moment or storyline of 2009? Tim Tebow's concussion? Sam Bradford's $41 million shoulder injury? Charlie Weis' fall at Notre Dame?
We should have known when South Carolina and N.C. State opened the season on Sept. 3 with a 7-3 retina-burner that we were in for the "Season of Ambien."
But we did pick up a lesson, or two, on the way to Sleepyville:
- The regular season is not a playoff.
ESPN uses the marketing slogan: "Where Every Game Counts." Tell that to Texas Christian, Cincinnati and Boise State.
The idea that the regular season is a playoff is antiquated. It ended when power conferences collectively decided to avoid each other during the regular season - and to avoid anything close to a challenge outside their own conference walls.
Texas' path to the BCS title game consisted of games against Louisiana-Monroe, Wyoming, UTEP and Central Florida. At least Alabama was willing to play Virginia Tech, a preseason top-10 team, although the Tide cushioned the other three non-SEC spots with Florida International, North Texas and Chattanooga.
That's not a "playoff," that's isolationism.
- Defense still matters.
The top three defensive teams statistically in the country: TCU, Alabama and Texas. The top three offensive teams: Houston, Nevada and Troy.
The defensive teams prevailed.
Closer to home, North Carolina entered the season with its top offensive playmakers in the NFL but nine starters on defense. N.C. State returned its top offensive weapon but lost its defensive leader to injury before the season started.
UNC went 8-4 and N.C. State went 5-7. If not for the Wolfpack's victory against the Tar Heels, the gap in their records would have been even wider.
- C.J. Spiller is the best player in the ACC.
There never was any question about the Clemson running back's talent, only his durability and the coaches around him.
With 21 total touchdowns, including an ACC-record five on kick returns, the splendid Spiller proved any skeptic wrong with an unbelievable senior season.
Even in defeat, a 39-34 loss in the ACC title game, Spiller shone with 233 rushing yards and four touchdowns against Georgia Tech.
- Tim Tebow is not "the best player" in the country.
Like his college basketball soulmate, UNC's Tyler Hansbrough, Tebow will go down as one of the most accomplished players in his sport's history, but the Florida quarterback wasn't the best player in college football this season.
Nebraska's Ndamukong Suh was the game's most dominant player. (Fitting that a defensive tackle was the season's best player.)
Suh had almost as many pass breakups (10) as sacks (12), to go with 82 tackles and three blocked kicks, preposterous numbers for an interior lineman.
If the Heisman Trophy had not turned into an award for the best player on the best team, Suh would have been the first true defensive player to win the award.
- Coaching loyalties run deep.
The 59 voters in the USA Today coaches' poll made their final regular-season ballots public this week, and the results confirmed cronyism is alive and well in the poll that determines one-third of the BCS standings.
Minnesota coach Tim Brewster, a former Mack Brown assistant at UNC and Texas, was one of four coaches to put Browns' Longhorns No. 1. Nebraska's Bo Pelini, who was furious in the aftermath of the Big 12 title game, also dutifully pulled the party line and put the Horns No. 1.
Stanford's Jim Harbaugh and UNC's Butch Davis were impressed with their own teams. Harbaugh ranked the Cardinal No. 12 - nine spots higher than its final ranking - while Davis was the only coach to vote for the Heels (No. 24).
N.C. State's Tom O'Brien and Florida State's Bobby Bowden showed a different kind of loyalty. O'Brien was the only coach to cast a vote (No. 25) for Navy, his alma mater.
Bowden used his No. 25 vote on Georgia, the only vote his former right-hand man Mark Richt received.