TheState.com: Neil White

I could use a robot to write this column

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:58 EDT

It should come as no surprise that the sci-fi robot movie “WALL-E” topped this past weekend’s box office list with a $62.5 million take.

The mere mortals of these United States sure do love their robots, especially an adorable one from Pixar Animation like WALL-E. He’s a cute little forlorn automaton who was left on Earth to clean up after humans deserted the over-polluted planet in the year 2700. Luckily, WALL-E finds love when humans send in a girl robot to evaluate the planet years later.

Robots have long held a distinguished place in American popular culture. Perhaps it’s our fascination with the future or maybe it’s our never-ending obsession with new technology. But we can’t seem to get enough of robotic creatures that have sprung to life over the years in films and TV shows.

I certainly have my own robot fixations. Who wouldn’t love to have a robot that you could command to do the things that either you can’t do or don’t want to do? That’s the sort of futuristic fantasy everyone can envision.

As a way of saluting these great creations, here’s my list of Top 10 favorite robots.

Al Sleet’s forecast: Sad but still funny

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:46 EDT

In this business, if you stay around long enough, you get to interview any number of famous people. Most of the time, it’s no big deal, because you’ve discovered there’s no reason to be starstruck. It’s just part of the job.

But I’ve got to admit to being more than a little nervous when I had the chance to interview George Carlin last fall before his appearance at The Township. Heck, it wasn’t even an in-person interview. It was a phoner with him in California.

But Carlin was a guy I loved to watch as a kid when he appeared all those times on “The Ed Sullivan Show” and “The Tonight Show” back in the 1960s. As a teen, I listened to his classic early-’70s albums, “FM & AM” and “Class Clown” and “Occupation: Foole,” over and over and over again.

Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at age 71, truly had become a comic icon over his 50-year career, and he was one of my comedic heroes, a small group that also includes Rodney Dangerfield, David Letterman, Bill Murray, Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock.

So the opportunity to speak with him had me on edge. I didn’t want to ask any obviously dumb questions. And I hoped that I wouldn’t set off the infamously cranky public persona of his later years.

Talk: Fighting words over Knotts-Shealy race

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:11 EDT

Ali-Frazier. Yankees-Red Sox. Gamecocks-Tigers.

And now there’s Knotts-Shealy.

The GOP primary runoff for the Lexington County state Senate seat between incumbent Jake Knotts and challenger Katrina Shealy has turned into an epic brawl. In any knockdown drag-out, you’ve got to like the chances of a tough 300-pound bruiser like Jakie Knotts. Heck, he even looked tough wearing a lovely evening gown while winning the 2000 Miss Vista Queen Pageant.

Both candidates have people choosing sides. Gov. Mark Sanford has backed Shealy all the way, apparently because Knotts keeps giving him wedgies in the State House men’s room.

U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson filmed a TV ad for Knotts, although he was talking so fast in that mumbly way of his that he could have been endorsing Gutter Helmet like Joe Pinner.

Ranking of best guitar songs hits a few sour notes

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:36 EDT

You have to love Rolling Stone magazine. There’s nothing to get people talking about the new issue than to put a comprehensive new list in it and plaster words on the cover that say, “100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time,” over a picture of Eddie Van Halen, B.B. King, Jimmy Page and Omar Rodriguez Lopez.

The intent for Rolling Stone — besides, of course, getting folks to drop $4.50 at the newsstand to see where their favorite guitar song is ranked — is to generate a buzz among rock fans. People who have an emotional investment in their favorite artists want them recognized by everyone else. And without fail they get pretty worked up when the list doesn’t meet their standards.

Just take a look at a few on-line posts from various music web sites:

“This is just a popularity contest.”

“Putting ‘Layla’ behind ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ is a travesty.”

Talk Back: South Carolinians didn’t exactly rock the vote

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:22 EDT

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. And don’t go to the voting booth either.

It seems many people took that advice this week, where election news topped a long, hot, dull week of headlines.

See for yourself. Unless it’s too hot to read.

U.S. SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM CRUISES TO EASY WIN IN GOP PRIMARY So much for that big anti-Graham backlash.

LOW VOTER TURNOUT MARKS LOCAL ELECTIONS When I showed up to vote at my polling place, I interrupted nap time.

Talk: The Obamas go fist-bump in the night

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:18 EDT

In a presidential campaign, every little thing gets magnified, whether it be a gesture, an outfit or an offhand remark.

But nothing in the Democratic race sent the campaign’s blogosphere and assorted other print and television newshounds into delirium quite like what Barack Obama did before he delivered his triumphant speech in St. Paul, Minn., in early June.

He exchanged a fist bump with his wife, Michelle.

That’s right, he gave her dap right there on national TV during the biggest moment of his life.

I’m guessing that George Washington never once gave Martha a fist bump. And that goes double for Millard Fillmore, who was twice-married.

Talk: Finding just the right words to say about us

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:54 EDT

Is this a great city or what?

Every four years or so, just like the country picks a new president, the city of Columbia begins the process of picking a new slogan.

Really, you can almost book it that city leaders will be searching for a new catchphrase when they realize the one they spent so much time and money on is a total dud.

Look at the storied history.

In 1998, Columbia idea man Marvin Chernoff’s ad firm came up with “It’s Happening Now,” a slogan that trumpeted the city’s hip quotient to potential visitors across the globe.

TALK BACK: Politics trumps 'Sex' in this city

Fri, 30 May 2008 19:41 EDT

What a week this was.

The White House catches heat from one of its own. State lawmakers decide cheap cigarettes are more important than public health. They’re swinging and ducking over gay issues at Irmo High once again.

But, most importantly, the girls are back in town. No, not the Indigo Girls. The “Sex and the City” girls — Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

But while they know how to make it happen in New York City, here in the Capital City, we’re still stuck with the boys — as in the Good Ol’ Boys who make state policy. It’s their decisions that make them the stars of this week’s roundup of headlines.

GOV. MARK SANFORD VETOES BILL TO RAISE CIGARETTE TAX Patrick Henry’s rallying cry: “Give me liberty OR give me death!” Sanford’s cry: “Give me cigarettes AND give me death!”

Talk: I just have to wonder ... why ‘SATC’?

Tue, 27 May 2008 09:06 EDT

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I don’t get in this old world, which probably doesn’t come as a surprise to many of you.

But there’s one thing I really — and I mean really — don’t get, and that’s the appeal of “Sex and the City.”

Oh, I understand that it’s not a guy thing. It’s most definitely a chick thing. But some chick things offer a little something for the fellows. Not “Sex and the City,” though, which has the kind of inane dialogue that makes my eyes spin like cherries in a slot machine.

So I pretty much ignored the spicy HBO series when it ran from 1998 to 2004. But it’s been a little harder to ignore the much tamer TBS syndicated version, especially since my wife always seems to stop on it when she’s got control of the clicker.

And now, of course, there’s going to be a barrage of “Sex and the City” coverage with this week’s release of the feature film that will bring everyone up-to-date with the very complicated lives of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

Talk: Carve it in stone: The four great rockers

Mon, 05 May 2008 17:18 EDT

Everybody knows about Mount Rushmore, right? At least I hope all of you were awake in history class that day.

Mount Rushmore, of course, is the iconic national monument that features the faces of four of this country’s greatest presidents — George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt — carved into the Black Hills of South Dakota. Now I’m not altogether sure why these guys got the nod over, say, Millard Fillmore or Rutherford B. Hayes, but I can live with those choices.

Today, however, there is a far more important debate circulating on Internet message boards, and the question is this: Which four faces belong on a Mount Rockmore sculpture, which would record the four most iconic rock ’n’ rollers of all time?

The discussion has gotten so intense that a radio station in St. Louis even polled listeners to come up with its Mount Rockmore. The winners were immortalized on T-shirts that were given away, which is almost as lasting as a giant granite sculpture.

But let’s get back to the question. It sounds relatively simple, but it’s not.

Talk | A (sweet) capital city: Cuddling up to Columbia

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 08:10 EST

Usually, we have to report the regrettable news that our fair city is being found wanting in one national ranking or another.

It’s still hard to shake off the bitter memories of Columbia’s dark days of years past, such as when Money magazine ranked the city No. 291 in livability among the nation’s largest 300 metropolitan areas.

But something is different in the air today. What is it?

Love.

With Valentine’s Day a mere two days away — you are aware of that, right, guys? — there’s far more than friendliness flowing in the Capital City.

Talk Back | Merry campaign to you all!

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 07:06 EST

As I sat in Williams-Brice Stadium on Sunday covering the Barack Obama rally featuring Oprah Winfrey, I had a sudden realization.

I hadn’t gotten Obama anything for Christmas. In fact, I hadn’t purchased one single present for any of the presidential candidates.

There’s only two shopping weeks left before the big day, and I knew that I needed to get out Monday to buy gifts for this group of adopted uncles and aunts who have crisscrossed our great state campaigning for the past year.

It seems only fair to show a little appreciation for folks who profess to have a great love of South Carolina voters. And, really, ’tis the season to give back in return.

So here’s what I got everyone. Pssst, please don’t tell any of them. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

Archives: Carlin's interview with Neil White

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:57 EDT

Editor's note: Talk about Town columnist Neil White interviewed George Carlin last October before his appearance at The Township during what would be his last tour; he had no plans to retire, then. YOU MIGHT THINK a 70-year-old stand-up comedian would have run out of things to say after a half-century in the business. Not George Carlin.

The iconic comic, who will appear Friday night at The Township, is going even stronger than he did during his pioneering days on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and "The Tonight Show" in the 1960s. Along the way, he has discovered something about himself and his material.

"I began as an entertainer who used to write his own material. I always used to say that in interviews. I was a comedian who wrote his own material," Carlin said. "But, over the years, I turned into a writer, and what I found out at one point when I looked back was that I had become a writer who performed his own material." He also has learned that his essential assignment is writing, the most rewarding part of his job.

"The thing that gives me the most pleasure is conceiving and writing the material. Getting onstage is another pleasure. It's a separate deal," he said.

"Stand-up is the entertainment part, but writing is the art, and artists grow and change and develop and mature. They're never finished."

It’s all Gamecocks all the time

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:44 EDT

Welcome back from our station break on WTAT, 87.5 on your FM dial, for the Talk About Town morning show. (Jingle plays: “It’s time to talk in the morning!”)

Today we’re continuing to take only calls related to this Saturday’s SEC football showdown between No. 12 USC and No. 2 LSU. Nothing else matters, of course, so we’re asking everyone to please refrain from other topics such as the war, the presidential campaign and Britney Spears.

Let’s go back to the phone lines. You’re on the air, Norm from Newberry.

Norm: Woooooooooeee! How ’bout them Gamecocks!

Talk: OK, you’re the 47th person to do that this morning, Norm, and it’s starting to get annoying. Let’s try to have a little intelligent conversation here. How about you, Sam from Sumter?

We wear our tiara at lunch

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:54 EDT

You’ve all seen Caitlin Upton’s YouTube moment by now. The Lexington teen couldn’t quite pull off a coherent answer in the Miss Teen USA pageant as she represented South Carolina last week.

Her response quickly became an Internet sensation, of course, and she was the target of a few barbs and much hearty laughter.

But you know what? Let’s see you answer that question on the spot. Why, we got a brain cramp the other day just trying to answer what we had for lunch.

“I personally believe that many U.S. Americans don’t eat lunch because, I believe that my sandwich like such as, uh, the peanut butter and, uh, the egg salad over here in the refrigerator should help the Fritos and the Cheetos and the Tostitos so that we will be able to fill up our stomachs for the future.”

See? And we weren’t even on live national TV. We liked how Caitlin bounced back on the “Today” show, however, as her whirlwind 15 minutes of fame topped this week’s headline roundup.

Diehard fans poised to move into Williams-Brice

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:51 EDT

College football season is just a week away, and now there’s talk about expanding the Gamecock Empire. The latest buzz has 8,000 seats being added to Williams-Brice Stadium by 2010 to push capacity to 90,000 or so.

You know, it won’t be long before USC bumps it all the way to 150,000 seats and requires fans to live in the stadium year-round if they want to keep their tickets. It’ll be like a city-within-a-city: Cockville — Where The People Never Leave.

And you know what? The diehards will happily do it.

OK, let’s go to the rest of the week’s top headlines, most of which have little to do with USC football.

‘AMERICAN IDOL’ HOPEFULS TRY OUT IN NORTH CHARLESTON We could have saved most of these folks the trouble of driving down and standing in line by telling them in our best Simon Cowell accent: You’re atrocious!

Pseudo-historical tidbits about the history of your USC

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:23 EDT

Today’s back-to-school issue of Weekend is filled with all sorts of useful information for returning USC students.

Of course, everybody caters to the students around these parts this time of year. We’ll do anything to make their lives easier and more fun-filled.

Too bad kids these days just want to know where they can grab a tasty latte and find wireless access. They don’t really seem to care about the history of the fine university they’re attending.

Well, this old codger is going to force-feed them a little historical perspective. So put down that fancy coffee and laptop and learn something from the following USC timeline.

1801: The South Carolina College is founded by the General Assembly just after higher-education lobbyists hold a big boozy barbecue dinner for lawmakers.

Hey, cool it with the hot jokes!

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:50 EDT

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of Columbia. Harry Truman said that. No, wait, it was Joe Pinner who said that.

At any rate, it’s hot. Really hot.

It’s so hot that everybody is telling “it’s so hot” jokes. You can’t get away from them. And they’re the same jokes people tell during every heat wave.

It’s so hot I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.

It’s so hot I saw a squirrel soaking his nuts in Gatorade.

Dems don’t take my questions

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 17:36 EDT

As you’re well aware, the eight Democratic presidential candidates gathered at The Citadel this week for a unique debate. This time the questions weren’t posed by the elite Washington press corps; they were asked by average Americans through the forum of the YouTube Web site. Is this a great country or what?

Surprisingly, debate organizers did not use any of the questions this average American citizen submitted to YouTube. Perhaps they didn’t like that we asked our questions while wearing a Speedo and dancing rhythmically to Peaches and Herb’s “Shake Your Groove Thing.”

Or maybe they simply didn’t like our questions, which we thought were very substantive. See what you think.

To Hillary Clinton: If you win, will Bill be required to wear dresses as first lady?

To Barack Obama: So why does your name rhyme with Iraq Osama? (Bill O’Reilly gave us this one.)