We wear our tiara at lunch

QB learns lesson; S.C. stats still rank

You’ve all seen Caitlin Upton’s YouTube moment by now. The Lexington teen couldn’t quite pull off a coherent answer in the Miss Teen USA pageant as she represented South Carolina last week.

Her response quickly became an Internet sensation, of course, and she was the target of a few barbs and much hearty laughter.

But you know what? Let’s see you answer that question on the spot. Why, we got a brain cramp the other day just trying to answer what we had for lunch.

“I personally believe that many U.S. Americans don’t eat lunch because, I believe that my sandwich like such as, uh, the peanut butter and, uh, the egg salad over here in the refrigerator should help the Fritos and the Cheetos and the Tostitos so that we will be able to fill up our stomachs for the future.”

See? And we weren’t even on live national TV. We liked how Caitlin bounced back on the “Today” show, however, as her whirlwind 15 minutes of fame topped this week’s headline roundup.

USC QB BLAKE MITCHELL LOSES APPEAL TO PLAY IN OPENER This is one class you can’t cut: Life Lessons 101.

S.C. ATTORNEY GENERAL DOUBTS BARNWELL NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP IS SAFE Henry McMaster came to that conclusion after a meeting with Chem-Nuclear executives where the only light in the room came from the glow of a pitcher of water on the table.

U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL STEPS DOWN UNDER PRESSURE Alberto Gonzales follows Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove out of the Bush administration. Next week? Dick Cheney shoots his way out of the White House.

LEGISLATORS AND CORRECTIONS OFFICIALS SQUABBLE OVER INVESTIGATION Man, it’s hard to find a side to root for in this story.

MIDLANDS HOSPITALS GET APPROVAL TO ADD BEDS So please do your part by going out there and getting sick.

NATIONAL STUDY RANKS S.C. FIFTH IN ADULT OBESITY AND SEVENTH IN CHILD OBESITY Darn it, we just dropped our Twinkie on the report while reading it.

SIX-STORY PROJECT GETTING RETRO MAKEOVER TO BETTER FIT FIVE POINTS LOOK It’s like Loose Lucy’s meets the Empire State building.

RICHLAND COUNTY GOP ENTHUSIASTICALLY GREETS SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM The group really loved how he ended his talk with a stirring rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.”

MICHAEL VICK ACCEPTS GUILTY PLEA AND PUBLICLY APOLOGIZES Now he finds out if the judge’s bark is worse than his bite.

NEW USC BASEBALL STADIUM FACES MORE DELAYS Play ball! ... In 2009!

S.C. RANKS NO. 49 IN SAT SCORES Maybe we could raise that ranking if the SAT had an eating section.

HALF-CENTURY ANNIVERSARY NOTED OF STROM THURMOND’S RECORD FILIBUSTER OF CIVIL RIGHTS LEGISLATION Not exactly a Kodak moment, is it?

IDAHO SEN. LARRY CRAIG DENIES HE IS GAY AFTER ARREST IN AIRPORT INCIDENT He insisted that police misinterpreted his playing a Streisand CD in the bathroom stall.

DECEASED BILLIONAIRE LEONA HELMSLEY LEAVES $12 MILLION TO HER DOG She cut her cat out of the will when it refused to fetch a ball.

BRITTONS SELLING $75 GAMECOCK CUFF LINKS Forget the Under Armour. Classy fans wear the Over Armour.

‘DEATH SENTENCE’ SHOWS OFF COLUMBIA FILM LOCATIONS Look, Kevin Bacon’s character is pistol-whipping Mayor Bob in the Five Points fountain!