This week's biggest sports headline involved Chicago losing its bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. As people dissect the reasons, it seems to me that there is only one place to point the finger.
I blame the Cubs.
Olympians the world over apparently were too nervous about being cursed with 100 years of bad luck if they had to compete in Wrigley Field. That fear must have overridden any appeal the Obamas and Oprah brought to the bid effort. Not only did Chicago lose out, it finished last in the four-city finals behind runners-up Tokyo and Madrid.
Of course, it's hard to argue with the winner, Rio de Janeiro, the first South American city to host an Olympics. The wild Brazilian city is certain to bring a carnival-like atmosphere to the Games.Don't be surprised if you see topless beach volleyball as a new event. Gymnasts will be downing potent sugar-cane liquor drinks before the floor exercises. Crank up the bossa nova, baby!
You know, I'm kind of glad Chicago didn't get it. But I still blame the Cubs.
Let's check out the other top headlines.
USC football team doesn't crack top-25 polls after win over Ole Miss. The low score from the Russian judge kept the Gamecocks out.
Phil Mickelson stages big rally to overtake Tiger Woods and win Tour Championship. Guess Tiger shouldn't have taken that dare from Lefty and played left-handed.
Jimmie Johnson rolls to Chase win. Gosh, it's so easy to cut and paste that headline every week.
Detroit Lions claim first NFL win since 2007. Anybody who bought a ticket to this game against the Redskins was credited with participating in the Cash for Clunkers program.
Carolina Panthers fall to 0-3 heading into off week. It looks to me like the first three weeks were off weeks.
Willy Korn frustrated over being backup Clemson quarterback. He's also frustrated that Kyle Parker continues to get credit for looking better in tight pants than he does.
Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach bans players from using Twitter. Guess he got mad that his quarterback tweeted the play call to the Houston linebackers as the offense broke the huddle.
Shaquille O'Neal and LeBron James appear at Cavaliers media day. There hasn't been this much star power in Cleveland since "The Drew Carey Show" was canceled.
Phoenix Mercury faces off against Indiana Fever in WNBA finals. You know, I was hoping to see the Seattle Temperature play the Chicago Cough.
Tim Tebow might be ready to return from concussion against LSU next week. Heck, a cardboard cutout of the Florida quarterback could pass for 200 yards and rush for three touchdowns.
Verizon pulls out as sponsor of Heritage PGA Tour event. America's most reliable wireless network cuts service to Hilton Head Island.
Atlanta Braves miss playoffs despite strong finish. Where have you gone, Rafael Belliard, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Byrnes travels to Florida to play in matchup of top two ranked high school teams in nation. The next two games on the Rebels' schedule are Wofford and Furman.
Major League Baseball experiences 6.5 percent attendance drop. Blame those thousand-dollar game tickets in Yankee Stadium.
N.Y. Mets consider cutting ticket prices 10 percent to 20 percent. Maybe the Mets should consider giving them away to be fair to their fans.
Danica Patrick debates IndyCar Series future. If she abandons the IRL for NASCAR, then I put the over/under at three races on her getting into a fight on pit road with Kyle Busch.
Tiger Woods becomes first athlete to crack $1 billion in earnings. He's so rich that he bought the island of Barbados with the change he found underneath his couch cushions.
S.C. High School League issues warning to Summerville, Stratford for postgame fight instead of suspending teams from playoffs, as is routine. The SCHSL, however, remains so mad at the teams that it gave Boiling Springs an extra year of probation.
Notre Dame football close to having sellout streak that dates to 1973 snapped. The Irish kept selling out during the Gerry Faust era? No way.
Report says Ted Williams' frozen head abused in cryonics lab. This is too depressing to even make a Splendid Splinter joke.
NBA refs locked out to start preseason. Now if only the league could lock out Craig Sager's wardrobe.