What a crazy week in sports. Too many headlines. So little space.
Maybe I'd better cut the chatter and get right to them:
Only three cities submit bids for the 2018 Winter Olympics. And one of them is Beulah, North Dakota.
Jimmie Johnson wins third race in Chase for the Sprint Cup. The only chasing that's going on in NASCAR involves the guys trying to catch Johnson.
Carolina Panthers win consecutive games, against the Redskins and Bucs. Keep bringing on those woeful opponents.
Receiver Steve Smith says he's no longer an asset to the Panthers. Don't sell yourself short, Steve. You've never been an asset.
Melvin Laird wins Las Vegas PGA tournament hosted by Justin Timberlake. Laird won $756,000. The guy who came in last had to listen to Timberlake sing.
Brett Favre and Sidney Rice team up to keep Vikings undefeated. Nothing has gone this good with Rice since beans.
Alabama jumps past Florida to No. 1 in AP football poll. The Tide got an extra boost from a piece of tape.
A-Rod turns playoff boos into cheers with home runs. He also got a big cheer for getting to third base with Kate Hudson.
Tom Brady throws six TD passes and Drew Brees throws four in victories. Uh, were these real games or "Madden NFL 10"?
Rio de Janeiro vows to clean up drug-gang violence before 2016 Olympics. Talk about a tough city. The starter pistols for the sprint races? They're real.
WNBA's Detroit Shock headed to Tulsa. Man, they're really going to be shocked when they get to Oklahoma.
Lack of confidence blamed for Dale Earnhardt Jr's lost season. The only way he's getting in the NASCAR Hall of Fame is to buy a ticket.
SEC states it can find no evidence of personal foul in crucial Arkansas penalty against Florida. So that's why the refs were wearing blue-and-orange striped shirts that day.
USC defensive back Akeem Auguste returns from three-game suspension. You know, I wish my boss would give me three games off.
Media picks USC basketball team to finish fourth in SEC East. How quickly they forget that SEC East co-championship from a year ago.
USC football team to wear camouflage jerseys against Florida that say such things as "Courage" on the back. Unfortunately for the Gamecocks, Florida still will have a player wearing a white jersey that says "Tebow" on the back.
Albert Pujols undergoes elbow surgery. This guy could hit .330 without elbows.
NBA refs are on verge of returning from lockout. Although they may be so rusty that they're not going to allow traveling until midseason.
SEC officials remind schools not to use artificial noisemakers during football games. Now if only they would ban "Rocky Top."
Landon Donovan wins award as best player on U.S. soccer team for record sixth time. His teammates have started to complain about voting irregularities in Florida and Ohio.
Defending champion Phillies knock off Dodgers to return to the World Series. The five-game victory took less time than a Ryan Howard homer leaving the park.
Charlotte makes pitch to be permanent site for ACC football championship game. Great idea. Maybe the Panthers could beat Boston College.
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says steroids have a place in sports. He'd like to see the 80-foot jump shot become routine in the NBA.
ESPN's Steve Phillips embroiled in sex scandal. Wonder if he's considering a run for governor of South Carolina?
New York Mets made $48 million on Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme. Now they can afford another over-the-hill, underachieving player.
Sen. Orrin Hatch asks President Obama for help with BCS. Obama said he would do it if he received a Heisman Trophy to go with his Nobel Peace Prize.
Top Kentucky freshman basketball star John Wall may be ineligible due to amateur issues. I thought they were all professionals at Kentucky.
Michael Jordan's son refuses to wear adidas shoes at Central Florida. Come on, Marcus, just do it.
Oakland Raiders coach Tom Cable won't be charged with assault on assistant coach. But he still may be charged with ineptitude.
MLB says only veteran umps will be allowed to work the World Series. Wait, don't older guys generally have worse eyesight?