Sports Talk: November, World Series don't mix

Don't look now, but the calendar flipped over to a new month today.

That's right, folks, November is here. Gosh, it's hard to believe the college football season is nine weeks in and coming down the stretch, while basketball teams are starting to dribble all over the place.

But it's even harder to believe the World Series is being played into November. Good grief, that's way too late in the year. And it makes no sense to play the most important baseball games in the worst weather. But until MLB makes me commissioner, it probably will stay that way. So I'll just have to stick to rounding up the top sports headlines each week.

SEC basketball coaches vow this season will bring more NCAA bids. To guarantee it, the conference brought in the Los Angeles Lakers and Cleveland Cavaliers as its newest members.

Denny Hamlin pulls away at the end to win at Martinsville. It helped that an overconfident Jimmie Johnson stopped to buy a carton of milk after his wife called with 50 laps to go.

Carolina Panthers find a way to lose to the Buffalo Bills. This season is going so poorly that fans are looking forward to watching the Bobcats.

Duke, UNC picked as the preseason favorites in ACC basketball. Doesn't this story run in the paper every year?

Cleveland Indians hire fired Washington Nationals manager Manny Acta to guide club. And Indians fans thought it couldn't get any worse after dumping Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia.

TCU passes BSU in BCS standings. A-OK.

Clemson's C.J. Spiller revives Heisman Trophy hopes after big game in win over Miami. Note to opposing coaches: Kicking off to him is a poor strategy.

N.Y. Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez spotted eating hot dog during win over Oakland. Come on, you don't see Joey Chestnut trying to throw a football while eating at Nathan's on July 4.

New Orleans Saints rally from 21-point deficit to defeat Miami Dolphins. Where have you gone, Don Shula, South Florida turns its lonely eyes to you.

Mark McGwire joins the St. Louis Cardinals as hitting coach. When he's done showing off his secrets, even the utility infielders will be hitting 50 homers.

SEC reprimands two football coaches for complaining about suspect calls. Later that day, conference officials released the season-ending standings based on the results they're telling the refs to ensure.

Football analyst Bob Griese suspended for remark about NASCAR's Juan Pablo Montoya. Griese later tried to insist that some of his best friends are Colombian race-car drivers.

Lakers' Ron Artest wears No. 37 in honor of the late Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album staying No. 1 on the charts for 37 consecutive weeks. And I'm going to honor Artest by singing Paul Simon's "Still Crazy After All These Years."

Fourteen-year-old Dutch girl wants to sail around the world solo in her 26-foot boat. When I was 14, my parents wouldn't let me go to the mall by myself.

Lane Kiffin continues to deny making gas-pumping remark to Alshon Jeffery. He defended himself by pointing out that all gas stations are self-service these days.

Andre Agassi admits to crystal meth use in 1997. That explains why he showed up naked to play mixed doubles at Wimbledon that year.

Chiefs running back Larry Johnson questions coach's football credentials and uses a gay slur on Twitter. He also tweeted that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is a cotton-headed ninny muggins.

Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant suspended for the season after lying about his relationship with Deion Sanders. Hey, lots of people lie about their relationship with Deion Sanders.

Celtics' Glen Davis has surgery on broken thumb for fighting with childhood friend in an SUV. I'm starting to figure out how he got that "Big Baby" nickname.

Yankees-Phillies turnpike World Series divides New Jersey in half. North Jersey declared war on South Jersey by firing on Cherry Hill in the third inning of Game 1.

Kyle Busch changes crew chief for Talladega race. Uh, Kyle, If you're not in the Chase, nobody cares.

Houston Astros hire Brad Mills as new manager. Well, he's no Manny Acta, but then, who is?

USC basketball team unveils new uniforms. Old-timers will be disappointed to hear the Gamecocks haven't gone back to the tight short-shorts.

Panthers decide to keep Jake Delhomme as starting quarterback. It was either that or bring Chris Weinke out of retirement.

ACC reaches four-year contract extension with the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. Must have been the free sandwiches.

Bobcats score franchise-low 59 points in season-opening loss to Boston. Charlotte fans now are looking forward to the Triple-A baseball season.

Yankees split first two games with Phillies. Forget NASCAR. The real Chase (Utley) is in baseball.