College picks: Turn wins, losses into ins and outs

THE IDEA GETS thrown around every now and then, so let's throw it around: a relegation system.

It works in European soccer. If a team stinks, it's bumped down to the minors for the next season and a deserving one is moved up.

A letter-writer to Sports Illustrated recently suggested relegation when it came to Boise State - a team that, according to ESPN this week, was rejected by more than 10 BCS conference schools when trying to schedule 2010 games. Move Boise State into the Pac-10, bump down Washington State, and everyone's problems are solved.

Well, everyone's but Washington State, but they deserve it for foisting Ryan Leaf on us.

Let's take the hypothetical further: Texas Christian, welcome to the Big 12. Baylor, see you. Utah, you get to join Boise State in the Pac-10, which says goodbye until further notice to Arizona.

Cincinnati, everyone knows the Big East is a BCS league in name only, so you're in the Big Ten now. Northwestern, maybe we'll see you again in a few years.

Meanwhile, you could probably make the entire ACC a feeder system to the SEC, considering the disparity in leagues. It'd be a lot more interesting to see Georgia Tech, Miami and Clemson in the SEC, while giving Vanderbilt, Mississippi State and Kentucky or South Carolina a chance to win a league title.

And while we're at it, I should be relegated to a weekly paper after my picking performance last week.

South Carolina at Arkansas (-5.5): So the Gamecocks lost on Halloween. Well, Saturday's game will be played on National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day. (This is true). You know what that means? Me neither. Pick: Arkansas covers.

Florida State at Clemson (-8.5): Tigers control their destiny. But don't we all? Pick: Florida State covers, but Clemson wins.

LSU at Alabama (-9): Michael Strahan ripped the Alabama offense, calling it "nonexistent." Of course that word only popped into Strahan's mind because he'd just come from a meeting about the ratings for "Brothers." Pick: Alabama covers.

Vanderbilt at Florida (-33): Suspended senior Gators linebacker Brandon Spikes will spend the first half thinking about what he did wrong and the second half reading "Oedipus Rex." Pick: Florida covers.

Central Florida at Texas (-36): Clearly, if Texas goes unbeaten, it should be in the BCS title game. Pick: Texas covers.

Boise State (-21) at Louisiana Tech: If there's one thing I know in this world, it's that if Boise State goes unbeaten it should be in the BCS title game. Pick: Boise State covers.

Connecticut at Cincinnati (-16.5): I'm not sure of many things, but I do know that if Cincinnati goes unbeaten, it should be in the BCS title game. Pick: Cincinnati covers.

Northwestern at Iowa (-16): I think we can all agree that if Iowa goes unbeaten, it should be in the BCS title game. Pick: Iowa covers.

The rest: Miami (-13.5) covers against Virginia. ... Wake Forest covers, but Georgia Tech (-15) wins. ... North Carolina (-8.5) covers against Duke. ... Memphis covers, but Tennessee (-26) wins. ... Oregon (-6) covers against Stanford. ... Navy covers, but Notre Dame (-11.5) wins. ... Maryland covers, but N.C. State (-7) wins.

Last week: 3-12 vs. spread, 11-4 overall.

Season: 68-66 vs. spread, 105-33 overall.