3 SC couples, 176 years of marriage, and a few words of advice on how to stay together

High school sweethearts often see their relationships fade away once high school ends.

Some are forgotten by the first class reunion.

But some endure.

Some high school sweethearts grow together, ending up with shared memories that span generations.

They remember embarrassing teen-age antics, appalling hairstyles and unfortunate fashion choices.

They share memories of failed tests, game-winning touchdowns and prom dances.

And they can reminisce about these memories on honeymoons, when children are born, and at 60th wedding anniversary parties.

Perhaps it’s more rare these days to see high school sweethearts withstand the test of time. But, with wedding season upon us, we wanted to share the stories of four couples who have done exactly that.

Marriage ‘is a give and take situation’

Hugh McIntosh likes to tell folks that he picked up his wife of 60 years at a bus station in Louisiana.

Technically, it’s true. But there is more to the tale that Audrey McIntosh shares in her version of their love story.

They met in in 1950, in junior high school in Laurel, Mississippi. For Audrey, it was love at first sight when she spotted the new kid in town walking around the school yard.

“He was cute as cute can be,” Audrey said, now 80. “I said, ‘Look at that new boy. I want that one.’ And I never changed my mind.”

Hugh, 81, would walk her home from school, carrying her books. They would sit on her front porch and do homework together.

“We just became very good friends,” Audrey said.

After high school, Hugh enlisted in the U.S. Air Force, and Audrey took a job in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They wrote letters and Hugh made occasional visits from his base in Texas to Tulsa.

Then in 1957, they decided to go home to Laurel, Mississippi for Easter. For the first part of the trip, Audrey rode the bus to Shreveport, Louisiana, where Hugh met her and drove them the rest of the way.

While in Mississippi, they realized it would be quite a while before Audrey could get another vacation, or Hugh could get leave. So on a Tuesday after Easter, they decided to get married on Friday while they were home with family and friends.

And in April, they celebrated their 60th anniversary.

Audrey still thinks Hugh is “cute as cute can be.”

“I tell him every Sunday when he gets dressed up to go to church how handsome he is,” Audrey says. “I’m still very much in love with him.”

They have weathered some tough times: The death of one of their six children, and Hugh’s deployment to Vietnam perhaps the toughest.

But there has been joy, as they grew a large family: six children, 18 grandchildren and 32 great-grandchildren who are scattered through the United States and Europe.

The secret to an enduring, loving relationship: Compromise, they both agree.

“I had to learn when to keep my mouth shut so he wasn’t irritated,” Audrey said.

Perhaps the biggest compromise Hugh made was moving to Summit. When the McIntoshes retired, they sold their home in the desert of southern California and headed across the country in an RV. They wound up in Lexington County to visit one of their sons.

Audrey fell in love with South Carolina and wanted to stay. Hugh was determined to end up in Texas or Mississippi. Buying a home in South Carolina was a huge compromise for Hugh.

Marriage, Hugh said, “is a give and take situation. It is from day one.”

“Listen to what your partner says,” Audrey says. “Read between the lines. And don’t argue; this doesn’t accomplish anything.”

Hugh agreed. “Just say ‘Yes dear’.”

‘Sometimes you have to stop, and listen’

Odell Middleton was getting ready to start ninth grade at Hopkins High School in 1961 when his life changed forever.

It only took a moment, the time it took for seventh-grader Naomi to step off the bus.

“I saw her get off the bus and I said, ‘That’s mine right there.’ I staked my claim right then.”

Naomi, however, had other ideas.

“I was wondering ‘what is wrong with him?’” Naomi said with a laugh, when he started following her around.

By the latter part of the school year, Odell and Naomi were high school sweethearts.

“He wore me down,” Naomi said. “He was very persistent. He never gave up.”

And she is so glad he didn’t.

“I believe it was my charm that changed her mind,” Odell said. “It was love at first sight for me, but I had to convince her to love me back.”

They talked for a while before Odell mustered the nerve to ask Naomi’s father for permission to date his daughter.

“I was scared to do that,” Odell admitted 56 years later.

After dating through high school, Odell and Naomi married in September 1966, a few months after Naomi graduated from high school. Odell – who ended up joining the Marines, served in Vietnam and later retired from the S.C. Department of Corrections – was looking for employment at the time. So the young couple couldn’t afford a wedding.

“We got married at the preacher’s house,” Odell said. “It was Naomi, me, my mom, her sister, the preacher and his wife.

“Things weren’t up to par – we didn’t have that much. We were poor. In fact I said we were too poor to afford the two ‘o’s’ in poor.”

So 50 years, three children and three grandchildren later, the Middletons decided to have a wedding. To celebrate their 50th anniversary, they renewed their vows at St. John Baptist Church in Hopkins with Pastor Sammy Wade officiating. A reception followed in the Holistic Wellness Center.

“It was very nice,” Naomi said. “Our daughter spearheaded it and it was beautiful. People are still talking about it.”

The key, they say, to a long and loving relationship begins with priorities.

“We put God first,” Naomi said. “We pray and try to keep our family together as much as possible.”

And one thing they discovered many years ago: It takes two to argue.

“We’ve had our little ups and downs,” Odell said. “One thing I’ve learned is be careful where you get your information from. It’s best to iron things out for yourself.”

And when disagreements inevitably happen?

“Sometimes you have to stop, and listen,” Odell said. “Someone has to have a little common sense, and listen.”

Naomi admits Odell is good at that.

“I love that he is a very kind-hearted person and is a very giving person,” Naomi said. “I love him because … he is a sweet and kind person.”

“I really have enjoyed our life so far,” Odell said. “I thank God he gave us this opportunity.

“I told (Naomi) that it’s been so good, I’ll keep her for another 50 years.”

‘We compromise’

Bud and Kitty Batchelor grew up on farms five miles apart; their families were friends and neighbors.

But with four years between them, they didn’t know each other very well.

That changed with a date set up when Kitty was 17 years old.

“His brother, and the girl who would later become his sister-in-law, were dating,” Kitty recalled. Bud was in the Marines, and was home from Parris Island. His brother found him a date, so Bud could join them one night.

Bud was shocked when he discovered the date was Kitty.

“His comment was, ‘What? That little ‘ol girl?’,” Kitty said.

He quickly discovered that the young girl he remembered had grown up. And a few years later, they married.

The Chapin couple will celebrate their 61st anniversary in September.

Bud’s work ethic appealed to Kitty, and she admired that he was a Marine. “He was my hero,” she said.

But when did they realize their relationship was destined to be forever?

“I don’t know,” Bud said. “It didn’t happen like a flash of lightning. It happened over time. I guess she grew on me,” he added with a smile.

Kitty agrees that their love grew.

“I saw in him that he was a hard worker and a man with integrity,” Kitty said. “And of course there was a mutual physical attraction.

“With our faith-based relationship, we were committed. We went into being married knowing it would be for a lifetime.”

Their children are Becky and Marvin Carter of Chapin and Gail and Lee Capell of Prosperity. Their grandchildren are Matt and Emma Carter, Doug Carter, Will Capell and Kitt Capell, and their great-grandchildren are Braddock Carter and the late Noah Carter.

Kitty disavows the notion that couples have to share all their interests. Compromise, she says, is the key.

“When we first married, we had a lot of common interests – movies, friends,” Kitty said. “Then when our children came, we were committed to being good parents.”

But eventually they discovered different interests. For example, Bud enjoyed hunting and fishing while Kitty developed a love for travel.

Kitty has no interest in hunting or fishing, but she encouraged Bud to pursue those hobbies. Bud doesn’t want to go to some of the places Kitty wants to visit, but he encourages her to go with friends.

“We do enjoy a lot of things together. ... We’re just not in each other’s pockets all the time,” Kitty said.

And they respect each other’s differences.

“We compromise,” Kitty said. “We’ve compromised a lot over the years.”

This story was originally published June 23, 2017 at 11:00 AM with the headline "3 SC couples, 176 years of marriage, and a few words of advice on how to stay together."