The question that changed Hilton Head: ‘Who wants to sit all alone on Thanksgiving?’ | Opinion

Thousands of breathless headlines had come before it on the front pages of The Island Packet.

But this one changed history, and perhaps even the human heart.

On the day before Thanksgiving in 1998, readers were told:

Lonely locals

may find few

options on

Turkey Day

Reporter Brad Kovach wrote that “southern Beaufort County’s less fortunate can probably find a hot turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day, but finding companionship will be more difficult.”

It’s not as if we were heartless. Churches and nonprofits delivered scores of Thanksgiving baskets to humble homes down hidden byways. But Betsy Doughtie, then the head of Hilton Head Island’s Deep Well Project private social services agency, said in the story, “If someone is homeless and alone, baskets are not the answer.”

She said, “We have a lot of single people who are here by themselves. Who wants to sit all alone on Thanksgiving?

“The bottom line is we need a communal dinner to stretch across all social and economic levels.”

In that era, the Mental Health Association of Beaufort and Jasper Counties organized a Christmas dinner hosted by Crabby Nick’s Seafood House.

And in Beaufort, the St. Helena’s Anglican Church hosted a free community Thanksgiving dinner. It will be held for the 45th time this Thanksgiving following a 10:30 a.m. service at the church that was established 77 years before President George Washington proclaimed the first Thanksgiving in 1789.

But Hilton Head, known as the land of plenty, was a Thanksgiving heartbreak hotel.

At least two people reacted immediately to the headline. Allan LaCoe and Brian Carmines, owner of Hudson’s Seafood House on the Docks restaurant, got together and Betsy Doughtie led a meeting of the minds.

Carmines said his restaurant was available. St. Andrew By-the-Sea United Methodist Church immediately said it would pay for the food and send volunteers.

The Annual Community Thanksgiving Dinner was born.

Leading up to the first one in 1999, a newspaper ad in both English and Spanish “cordially invited all members of our community at no cost to celebrate the joy of friendship and the blessings of our island.”

Organizers were Allan and Gloria LaCoe. The Boys and Girls Club made table decorations. Santa was called into service. The Hudson’s staff cooked 200 pounds of turkey, 150 pounds of ham, 50 pounds of cranberry sauce, 20 gallons of gravy, 300 pounds of potatoes, 60 pounds of rice and 45 pies. And 150 volunteers stood by wondering if anyone would come.

Four hundred guests showed up for family-style dining. Some told our reporter they “didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving Day alone” and “It’s hard to cook a Thanksgiving meal just for one person.”

In “loaves and fishes” fashion, several hundred pounds of canned food and leftover turkey and trimmings went to Second Helpings, a nonprofit food rescue and distribution network striving to eliminate hunger the South Carolina Lowcountry.

Its website says, “Hunger has a local address. Nearly 30,000 Lowcountry neighbors face hunger and food insecurity.”

This year, the community dinner will mark its 25th anniversary as the LaCoes step aside to let others organize an event now serving 1,500. It’s still free, thanks in large part to continued support from the St. Andrew church, but diners make donations that last year totaled $12,000, all going to Deep Well, Bluffton Self Help and Second Helpings.

Over time, the community dinner has reflected the world around it. The COVID-19 pandemic forced the only cancellation in 2020, but Hurricane Matthew rocked the waterfront restaurant but did not stop it in 2016.

Allan LaCoe, who turns 82 on this Thanksgiving Day, said one moment remains seared in his mind. It was in 2001, weeks after the 9/11 attacks. In the parking lot, an American flag was raised atop a soaring Hilton Head Island Fire Rescue ladder truck. And when an 82-year-old retired Marine master sergeant walked in, spit-shined in his dress blues, every soul at every table stood spontaneously and applauded.

That’s how the community dinner reflects the heart within.

Hearts don’t have to be lonely on Thanksgiving Day.

In America’s sad new age of divide and conquer, that ought to be headline news.