How Tom Reilley became Mr. Hospitality on Hilton Head Island | Opinion

Maybe it was because everybody knew his name.

Maybe it was because he seemed to know everybody else’s name.

Or maybe it was the Hot Lips Look-Alike contest.

The list of ingredients in Tom Reilley’s rise from newcomer without a job to Hilton Head Island’s Mr. Hospitality would run deeper than his Irish-Italian-American-Catholic family tree.

When Thomas David Reilley Jr. died May 2 at age 78, he left his beloved island a template to follow, and not just for the restaurant business where he succeeded fabulously, but for all businesses and all of life.

We can now savor Reilley’s impact on an island so different from the one he and Diane found in 1977.

Start with the fact that he didn’t do it all at once, or alone. He had his wife Diane, the force of the family. Together, they grew their own work force, with seven children.

Reilley was used to big families. He grew up in Rhode Island with seven siblings, and six of the eight children ultimately made Hilton Head home, as did his parents, Thomas “Pop” Reilley and Vera.

Tom Reilley once told me that “blood is thicker than water” and his blood stuck behind Tom, the oldest sibling, as he partnered with others, including most of his children, to build a small pub fashioned after “Cheers,” where everybody knows your name, into the Coastal Restaurants & Bar group, featuring the iconic brands of Reilley’s Grill & Bar, The Crazy Crab, The Old Oyster Factory and Fish Camp.

Reilley got people to do things he could not do himself, attracting investors like Peter Kenneweg, Serge Pratt and Wally Seinsheimer when there was no track record yet to lean on.

He picked good employees, like Beth Cooler who greeted everyone at the door of the original Reilley’s and made them feel at home, even sometimes putting a baby on her hip and sashaying around the room.

Employees like Beth Cooler and barkeeps John “Jump” Griffin and Phil Henry helped concoct an impromptu event that put Reilley’s on the map. It was a “M*A*S*H Bash” in February 1983 on the night of the final episode of the popular TV show.

Things were mighty slow until that night, when they put up an indoor canvas tent with a bar inside that served martinis in tall glasses. They hung IV tubes from the bar, dressed as doctors and had a Hot Lips Look-Alike Contest in homage to Margaret Houlihan, a character in the hit TV show whose finale remains the most watched TV show in U.S. history.

An island legend was born, thanks to that and the cheek-to-jowl Friday night happy hour with pull tabs randomly dictating the price of your next drink — and with a little help from the first St. Patrick’s Day Parade that Reilley organized.

“Tom took it and grabbed it and grabbed it with both hands,” said Griffin, the bar manager who went on to open his own iconic place, Jump & Phil’s. “And he never looked back.”

Reilley was always thinking, evolving, growing, and the company headed by son Brendan Reilley is still doing that, with new concepts like Benny’s Coastal Kitchen and Uncle Billy’s Burger Joint.

His obituary said that he faced his final health challenge “with the same courage and stubborn resolve that defined his life.”

He got over disagreements, made no enemies, made everyone feel like his friend, and turned disasters like fires into opportunities to remodel, expand, improve.

He was a fixture at the bar. People came in just to see Tom Reilley. He gave no-nonsense advice. He connected people. He aided careers. He built an international network through a huge annual golf tournament.

For many years he organized the Pro-Am for the RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing PGA Tour event in Sea Pines.

But his lessons for us are not limited to a happy hour, a meal out, or even a M*A*S*H Bash. That’s all part of it, but Griffin said the main thing Reilley taught him was, “I’m not in the restaurant business. I’m in the people business.”

What if we all acted that way, no matter our job or institution?

At the Heritage golf tournament, Reilley taught director Steve Wilmot, “You sell the sizzle, not the steak.”

In other words, it’s the experience people want. Focus on it. Make it better.

Reilley guided Wilmot with these words as well: “Yes is the answer. What is the question.”

That’s how one unemployed newcomer became the fabric of Hilton Head Island.

This story was originally published May 11, 2025 at 6:00 AM with the headline "How Tom Reilley became Mr. Hospitality on Hilton Head Island | Opinion."