I wrote about free speech and a reader dropped the n-word on me. So I wrote this | Opinion

It’s been a while since I’ve had the n-word dropped on me.

Weeks? Months? Years? I really can’t recall.

I’ve been slurred that way many times, in a variety of ways, chalking it up to the price of admission for a Black dude daring to speak about race in public. In recent memory, I’ve been called “boy” and the like, just not the n-word, the slur that has no equal.

But a reader dropped it on me this week, in the slyest way possible, the way many racists are wont to do, with a bit of plausible deniability.

In a recent column about a college class I teach, I wrote about, “the power and importance of freedom of expression, even the kind we don’t like — especially the kind we don’t like.”

A reader emailed me, “Laudable indeed; but I have to ask; did you include anything colorful on the whiteboard like ‘I don’t care for n------?’ Because it is imperative that those types of comments be included as freedom of expreasion [sic], as abhorrent as they are.”

The reader went on to complain about former Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling being forced to sell that National Basketball Association team because of racist comments and also falsely claimed that I celebrated Charlie Kirk’s assassination this month.

I asked if the reader was willing to provide his name so I can give him full credit for his comments. He didn’t get back to me by the time of publication. If he does, I’ll share it.

In the meantime, let me make something clear about what’s happening.

There are a growing number of people looking to make things worse than they already are. I’m not talking about those who participate in passionate, even biting, commentary and public debates about the direction and state of this country. We are a democracy. That’s an integral part of who we are, who we should be, an invaluable tool in our attempts to perfect this nation.

I’m talking about those throwing around the n-word, those demeaning others for sport, those picking fights for the sake of fighting.

I’m talking about people who are using their voice to lie and distort the positions and intent of those with whom they disagree, or don’t like.

I’m talking about the government trying to shut down speech it doesn’t like, and young people being trained to do the same instead of being challenged to listen to others across differences.

I’m talking about elected officials like Horry County Board of Education chairman David Cox talking about it being time to “lock and load.”

And, yes, I’m talking about the leader of the free world standing up during an emotional memorial service and proudly declaring his hatred for political opponents at a time such as this.

I can’t say for certain, but I strongly suspect the reader of my column unsheathed the n-word to either intimidate me or convince me to respond in kind. Had I done either way, he would win.

In a multitude of ways, many of us are being targeted that way. We are being goaded into unleashing the worst parts of ourselves, to join in the ugliness or be scared into silence.

When we give in, we all are the lesser for it.

I don’t have the answer for how you should respond to bad actors, or even to people who have gotten so consumed by their anger that they don’t even realize they are no longer treating you like a fellow child of God. I don’t know your circumstances.

But I know giving into bitterness or hatred — or fear — can’t make things better.

Former Spartanburg County School District 5 teaching assistant Lauren Vaughn is doing it the right way. After being unjustly fired for the sin of speaking her mind on her private, personal Facebook account, she decided it was better to stand up than retreat into the fetal position or give into her worst instincts.

She’s suing the district for what seems to me a clear violation of her First Amendment rights.

District officials apparently didn’t like what she said in the aftermath of the Kirk assassination and added her to a long list of people who are being unfairly punished.

Firing Vaughn was the district’s way of stifling her speech. She neither caved nor gave up the best part of herself in response. More of us must follow her lead.

Issac J. Bailey is a McClatchy opinion writer in North Carolina and South Carolina.

This story was originally published September 25, 2025 at 5:00 AM.