Too busy to get involved? Looking the other way can kill

After that fateful night two years ago, police discovered that Joey Meek knew about his friend Dylann Roof’s plans but did not tell others who could have stopped Roof before he opened the door to kill nine parishioners at Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston. Or if he did tell others, they did not intervene.

Following so many events that result in personal life disruption, mishap, injury and even death, it turns out that there was at least one person who knew about the problem that precipitated a traumatic event but did nothing to intervene.

We know of neighbors who are having problems, whether emotional, physical, financial, spiritual or something else. But many of us make no attempt to intervene.

We know of people sitting next to us in worship services who have problems, but we don’t offer our help. We may simply avoid sitting close to them.

When a politician gets accused of an ethics violation, whether leading to a criminal indictment or a slap on the hand, there are colleagues, friends or constituents who knew that the politician was doing something that could be self-destructive or destructive to others, but kept quiet and did nothing to intervene.

Common reasons given for not intervening are “It was none of my business,” “I have enough problems of my own,” “I didn’t want to get involved” or “I didn’t know what to do.”

When we do intervene, it’s likely to call 911 and ask for police assistance. But too often, even with the best intentions, calling police leads to a confrontation and injury or death to either a police officer or the people we are trying to help.

But there are so many other, better options.

We have preachers, ministers, priests, rabbis, imams and other religious leaders who know not only how to pray for someone’s soul but also how to intervene in the lives of people, without confrontation, threats, blame or accusations of wrong-doing, who know how to listen and how to access resources to provide an effective intervention.

We also have professionals such as social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, physicians, nurses, attorneys, teachers and counselors who are trained to mediate and intervene in the troubled lives of individuals and families.

Many neighborhoods even have a neighbor who isn’t paid but does function to intervene effectively when problems or potential problems are identified. Our neighborhood councils should recognize these Good Samaritans and encourage them to continue their work.

We can all recount news stories of tragedies from England, France, Germany, Portland and, most recently, the baseball practice field in Alexandria, Va. And we can’t help but wonder whether effective intervention by just one person who knew — or knew of — the accused might have prevented injuries and death.

Throughout South Carolina, we have many people who are asking for help, but who are ignored or belittled. We will never know about most of these, but we may one day see some of them in mug shots on the front page of the newspaper — after it’s too late for us to intervene.

On a recent Sunday morning, an obviously homeless man, carrying two plastic bags full of his belongings and wearing multiple coats, took a seat in a Columbia church, and then proceeded to talk and start moving around. When a nearby worshiper told him to be quiet, the man said he had a pistol — which was revealed as a water pistol. The worshiper then told the man to leave, and an usher escorted the man through the ornate wooden doors of the formerly welcoming church and onto the street. The man said he had some problems and was supposed to be on medication.

No one worshiping God at this service offered to intervene on behalf of this troubled man.

We can learn from such incidents to learn and teach others how to intervene effectively, helping those in need. Who knows? We just might change the course of events that otherwise would have led to tragic outcomes.

This story was originally published June 25, 2017 at 6:00 PM with the headline "Too busy to get involved? Looking the other way can kill."