Last night’s episode of “Southern Charm” had us worrying how our Charleston boys would fare on a trip north to Delaware to see Craig’s hometown. And of course they misbehaved.
But first, a little recap.
If you recall, Craig is now reeling from getting fired from his law office job last week.
His boss, Akim, advises that associating with people who don’t actually have a job is maybe not the best motivation to make it to work on time.
Cameran puts it best by saying, “Craig had passion, Craig had determination. Now, all Craig has is a hangover.”
A ‘PARTING OF WAYS’
Craig is really embarrassed, and calls Whitney to tell him the unfortunate news.
“You got fired?” Whitney asks.
“No, we’re just parting ways,” Craig says. The whole episode he insists on using euphemisms, anything but the word “fired.”
Craig tells Cameran he is “no longer with the firm,” when she picks him up for lunch. She takes him to McDonald's and tells him he can order off the dollar menu.
“Am I paying for this?” she asks.
“I don’t have my wallet,” he answers.
Hopefully he asked for an application along with that double cheeseburger.
Shep and Landon meet up and head off in search of furniture for Landon’s design house.
The idea is for Landon to decorate a whole house and have everything in it be for sale.
“I’m selling a lifestyle really,” she says.
As long as she’s selling something. Landon admits that she’s hemorrhaging money and needs to start making some bucks, thus falling back to her interior design background.
She tells Shep the gang should take a trip to Jekyll Island, Ga., near where she grew up.
Apparently, Landon needs a break from thinking about working and talking about her divorce. Time for a vacay! But in all seriousness, is there a rotation of home visits happening? First Craig and then Landon. Can we hope for a Hilton Head visit with Shep next?
CHANGE YOUR HAIR, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Danni visits Kathryn’s house for some tea and chit chat, where Kathryn tells her she senses a personal transition on the horizon.
They discuss Kat’s new bangs and Kat says, “I read this quote that went like, ‘A woman who changes her hair is about to change her life.’ Long story short, I’m not happy right now.”
Kat is tired of putting up with T-Rav’s campaign shenanigans and feeling like her life was set on the backburner. In sum, she decides she needs to get her mojo back.
LARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL
Whitney’s German model/actress girlfriend Larissa is in town for a visit, and Patricia is supes excited about it. The Madame tells her butler, Michael, that she is getting ready to start planning for the wedding.
Michael says he’s ready to start teaching the grandchildren about Easter eggs and cookies. (Even the butler is pining for grandkids!).
Cut to Whitney and Larissa going for a stroll along the Battery.
“I miss you terribly darling,” Whitney says, adding, “Maybe we should move in together.”
Larissa’s immediate reaction is to put her face in her hands.
“That’s a big step,” she says, looking pained.
Whitney suggests a Germany-to-U.S. commute might work.
Larissa says that might be a tad difficult to swing and suggests they just keep going like they’re going.
They put the subject on hold as they are due to meet Patricia for drinks. Patricia has already acquired crystal glasses of rosé for her guests and a perfect martini for herself.
She greets them while wearing sunglasses inside. Because she can.
She also suggests Charleston would be a great new home for Larissa.
It doesn’t seem to work.
WE ARE HEADED NORTH
Craig, Shep and Whitney head to Fenwick Island, Delaware for a weekend at Craig’s parents' house.
Whitney, no surprise, claims he contracted deep vein thrombosis from having to take a commercial flight, and possibly a rare air-borne illness from his economy class seatmate.
On the ride to the house, Craig implores the guys not to say anything to his parents about his getting fired, because he hasn’t told them yet.
We meet Mr. and Mrs. Conover, who seems like sweet, warm people. We see Craig’s childhood room, which is crammed with awards and accolades.
“National Honor Society? What happened?” Whitney jokes, eyeing a gold-lettered certificate.
Craig’s parents are very proud of their certificate-earning son, and brag about him during dinner prep.
“When he was 16 he made a key lime pie from scratch!” Mr. Conover exclaims.
“He’s a black belt in karate” Mrs. Conover adds.
Craig and Whitney seem to have forgotten their gentile Southern manners. Shep tells Mrs. Conover that he has taken the liberty of telling a lady friend to stop by. (Apparently his date from the ball didn’t work out, but luckily he has a Delaware girl on standby.)
Can’t you keep it in your pants for one week Shep? Guests don’t normally get to invite guests to dinner. That’s like being a plus-one at a wedding and bringing a friend.
Whitney has the worse infraction by far, however.
During dinner, he takes it upon himself to take shots at Craig at every turn, in an attempt to “warn” Craig's parents about their son's failures and to get a rise out of the table.
“How’s work going?” Mrs. Conover asks her son.
“We’re not talking about work,” Craig answers shiftily.
“If Craig wants to be a lawyer, he needs better work ethic,” Whitney jumps in. “He’s wasting his talents. He goes out every night. How do we fix this?”
He goes on to question whether Craig really graduated from law school.
Mr. and Mrs. Conover seem bewildered, but Whitney chugs on like a runaway train.
“I tried to impart wisdom. It’s a challenge, Mr. Conover,” he continues pompously.
Shep captures everyone's feelings by saying he wants to crawl under the table.
The next day, the boys go golfing. Craig, naturally is pissed, and confronts Whitney on the green. Whitney tells him it was all out of concern and love, to which Craig cries bull.
(Can we just pause for a sec and talk about the dumb hats they’re all wearing? Whitney’s hat just says “Meat” in all caps. MEAT.)
Craig finally admits that things aren’t going right in his life and that he needs to make a change.
“I wanna make you two proud because y’all are like my big brothers,” he says.
The episode ends with Whitney and Shep taking their leave, giving Craig time to come clean to his parents.
He tells them he has been partying too much and that the job at the firm wasn’t working out. (Again, no mentioning of the word "fired.") Mr. and Mrs. Conover are supportive, and Mama Conover tells Craig they’ll be proud of him no matter what. Aww.
COMING UP: Judging by the preview, next week’s Jekyll Island episode will be explosive.
It appears Kat and Craig have their moment at last when they allegedly spend the night on the beach together, prompting the blow-up of all blow-ups between her and Whitney.