Columbia mothers share their stories: ‘I knew I was a mom when...’

For different women, the realization that they have a new role in life – as mother – comes in different ways.

Sometimes, it’s the first time you hold your newborn. Or the first time you pull an all-nighter with a sick child.

For others, it’s the heartwarming moments, like spending an afternoon holding your baby in a rocking chair – and knowing there’s no place in the world you’d rather be.

In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked readers to complete the phrase: “I knew I was a mom when ...” Some moms included photos – from yesterday and today.

As you read the responses, you will no doubt smile, laugh, and perhaps even get a bit teary-eyed.

We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did.

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There have been so many small moments over the last seven months introducing me to my new identity as mommy, but a defining moment for me was the first time I packed up my little one for a trip to the doctor. I was somewhat overwhelmed figuring out how much time I needed to get her dressed, fed and clicked into her car seat so that we would arrive on time. We made it with a few minutes to spare, and as I approached the front desk to check in, I was asked by the cheerful receptionist, “And whose mommy are you?” Such a simple question, but it was the first time I introduced myself as Eloise’s mother rather than Emily. I proudly told her I was Eloise’s mommy, and we headed to the waiting room. Looking down to check on baby, I noticed that she was smiling up at me. It was the first grin I had seen, and while it probably wasn’t a true smile that early on I felt like she was giving her mommy reassurance that we were doing well so far.

Emily Brady Bedenbaugh, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when the telephone rang. My husband and I had been married 13 years, suffered a miscarriage, and after a lot of thought decided to adopt. The call was from Children’s Bureau of SC. A 6-week-old baby boy was waiting for us. Our case worker left the room for us to decide whether this was the child we wanted. We stopped her before the door closed. Of course, we wanted this infant!

His birth mother had stipulations for the family she wanted for him and we met all her criteria. From the moment we saw him, he has been the joy of our life. He is a graduate of Presbyterian College and a commissioned Army officer. He is a major now and a helicopter pilot. He has served tours in Iraq, Kuwait/Afghanistan and Korea. He is our HERO and a true patriot.

Georgie DeLoach, Chapin

I knew I was a mom when I began receiving my first handmade Mother’s Day cards. The handmade cards from my two sons revealed what they knew about me, the things that interested me and what they imagined kept me busy during the day when they were in school. Both sons helped me collect botanicals and both sons have dug hundred of holes for tree and shrubbery planting. I have all the cards that they have made for me and a rose bush, given to me many years ago on Mother’s Day, is blooming beautifully today. I am the mother of two grown sons, Zachary, a city of Columbia policeman, and Alex, a pilot.

Sandra Howe Jackson, West Columbia

Now an 88-year-old mother of three amazing adults, I have had to mull over how to end the sentence, “I knew I was a mom when …” I remember ... I am a young teacher-mother of a 3-year-old son. I am sitting in my car, preparing to drive to my school where I teach English to the children of other mothers. In the yard by my car stands my small boy. He is dressed in short pants, a blue pullover, and his favorite ball cap. He is holding the handle of his little red wagon, watching me. His face wears a sober expression. I know the lady who takes care of him for me is a good soul and will keep him safe. But it tears my heart as I drive away.

Patricia I. Olenchak, Columbia

I knew I was a mother when I realized I had to work on my issues daily so they would not become my children’s issues. I had to become the woman God called me to be so I could positively influence their lives and steer them in the right direction. I’m not perfect, and my efforts don’t guarantee that my children will make all of the right decisions. However, if I continue to work on me and cultivate the graces I need to be the best mom possible, I believe my children will have the tools they need to become their best selves.

The Rev. Lauren Jones (Reid Chapel AME Church), Columbia

When anyone asked me what I was looking forward to most about motherhood I always answered, “To laugh with my child for the first time!” But once the nurse placed my child in my arms, motherhood quickly became an uphill battle of interpreting piercing screams, changing diapers around the clock, and blindly navigating my way toward a new identity as “mom.” However, as my son approached 6 months of age, it happened. We shared our first real belly laugh together. A little tickling and then we began a beautiful back-and-forth, joyous dialogue. Before my son could even babble a syllable, he gave his Mama an essential expression of joy. Right then and there in his sunny room, the voices of doubt stopped, the lingering guilt over a messy kitchen faded, and the worries of him inheriting all my worst parts simply fell away. I knew I was a mom then.

Emily Lake, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I left my baby at the sitters and when I returned, she had been crying. I picked her up, she looked me in the eye, and placed her head on my shoulder. She sighed and went to sleep. My heart melted and I still get that feeling whenever I think of my daughter, which is ALWAYS. She’s 25 now but will always be my “baby.”

Patricia Hucks, Blythewood

I knew I was a mom when Saturday brunch and shopping with friends was replaced with Saturday morning cartoons and cereal. I never thought that eating Cheerios and listening to my son tell me about preschool on a Saturday morning could bring me so much joy! Is raising a child easy? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely! My life forever changed when my husband and I welcomed him into our lives, but I don’t ever want to imagine life without him!

Shauna Robertson, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I first looked in my precious baby’s face and saw my daddy’s sweet smile. I had wanted to be a mother for what seemed like forever. After years of trying to have a baby and many disappointments, we finally adopted our longed for baby. He was beautiful. This tiny little baby depended on us for everything and I was so ready to be his everything. It did not matter that I did not give birth to him. He was ours and we felt that from the first moment as we held him, rocked him and watched him in amazement. Sometimes I had to pinch myself to realize he was ours and he was totally dependent on us for his every need. I love being a mom.

Beverly Meadows, Batesburg-Leesville

I knew I was a mom when I began quoting my mother on a regular basis. Level One: Be quiet. Hurry up. Yes, what? Eat two bites. Did you wash your hands? You don’t know where that’s been. Level Two: Be careful. Call when you get there. I’m trying to help you. Just do your best. You know I love you. Where has the time gone? was one of her personal favorites. I didn’t believe it at the time, but I find myself repeating it often as my 22-year old daughter heads to law school out-of-state. Although mother died in 2012, her words of wisdom have shaped my daughter, just as they shaped me. I can still hear her voice: Roots and wings – you need to have roots and wings. Yes, mother. You gave them to both of us, and so much more.

Sallie Boggs, Columbia

A child is closest when in the womb. Once born, the child is not only growing up but growing away. So, I knew I was a mom when I had to let go.

Susan Lenz, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I woke up on Easter morning, April 2, 1972. There was no bright-colored basket full of candy and cellophane grass waiting for me; there was no chocolate bunny; there would be no homemade corsage, no church, and no Easter egg hunt. My mother had always seen to it that our Easter was special, but my family now lived 4,900 miles away. My baby daughter slept in her crib, unaware of the holiday. I realized that I was the mom now, and it would be up to me to carry on old traditions and establish new ones for her. That Easter Sunday 44 years ago, I knew I was a mom.

Joan Mustard, Lexington

I knew I was a mom when I tried to allow my son Jordan a little more freedom as he turned 5 and wanted to play outside with the older neighborhood boys without me. What he didn’t know was my eyes were glued to the window diligently as he participated in the romping, and it became abundantly clear he was going to be their “victim.” My protective mamma bear instincts quickly took over and I rushed outside to Jordan’s dismay to rescue him. Once you’re a mom, you’ll do everything in your power to protect your child from harm.

Karen Williams, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when my children got sick or hurt and only wanted mommy to hold them and take care of them. To know that someone depended on me that much was a life-changing experience.

Jennifer Tinneny, Elgin

I knew I was a mom when I gave up a job I loved because of a greater love, Madeline, our first daughter. I knew I was a mom when I delivered our second daughter, Mallory, with a smile on my face because little Madeline was, not by choice, in the room. I knew I was a mom when our twins were born and being cared for in two different hospitals, Madeline and Mallory were with friends and I wanted to be with them all. My one heart was spinning like a tornado to go in four different directions. Because I am a mom, I know now that I will feel this way forever.

Cynthia Knowles, Chapin

I knew I was a mom when my dad died. I was definitely a “daddy’s girl” growing up. When my oldest son was born, I was so excited to share his birth with my dad. A few months later, he was very ill and I knew he would not be with us for long. I had one of the most difficult babies – he didn’t sleep; he had lots of ear infections; he couldn’t tolerate formula. So I spent the second six months of his life feeling pulled between my dad, who was dying, and my new baby, who clearly needed me. When he died, just a few weeks before my baby’s first birthday, I was heartbroken. But I knew I couldn’t bury myself in that grief, I had a child to raise. I spent my son’s childhood and that of his younger brother teaching them as much as could about my dad and all that he loved.

Kaye Marsh, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when my daughter looked up at me for the first time and said, “ I love you, mom” – and she has been saying it for 22 years.

Audrey Hall, Columbia

I was a young married who wanted children more than anything in the world. However, it didn’t happen for us and all of my married friends were starting their families. It was heartbreaking to go see each beautiful new baby. After some deliberation and much prayer, we decided to adopt.

After many months of waiting, we were told that we had a baby girl. We were ecstatic! We went to get our little angel and when they handed this beautiful blue-eyed wonder with a little blonde “peach fuzz” to me, my heart melted. I felt like it was the most natural thing in the world and I knew why God had us wait. He had this precious jewel for us.

Paulette Dukes, Little Mountain

Forty-nine years ago, as a young teacher in Charlotte, I was thrilled to learn that I was expecting our first child. Simultaneously, I received a grant to do graduate work at N.C. State University in Raleigh. I found the cheapest place to live until my husband, in basic training for the Army reserves, could join me. That place was a tiny three-room house in the woods behind a car wash. I moved in with a cot, a table and lamp, and a shotgun, which I had never fired, but which made me feel safer! Although I had always declared that I could never kill another human, I soon learned that motherly instinct could override that idealism.

One night I had a vivid dream, one I have never forgotten. My baby was in a crib by my bed when an intruder entered and started toward the crib! Without hesitating, I picked up the shotgun and blasted him into eternity, feeling absolutely no remorse! I awoke immediately, aware for the first time, that I would do anything to protect the life of the baby growing within me … I knew then that I was a mom!

Mary Jo Whitley, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I had my son and daughter but life was so busy and not always fun especially when some of that time my husband was working at night. However, I KNEW I was a mom when I was blessed with my first grandchild. When I was handed that precious boy from my precious son, I knew I was a mom and even better a grandmother. I love my children dearly, but loving this grandchild brings tears of joy to my eyes every time I look at him. I now have time to appreciate these miracles God gave me.

Angie Duffie, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when my fiance, Norm, introduced me to Gayle, his precious 9-year-old daughter who possessed a contagious smile and shared my love of paper dolls and playing jacks. As we came to know each other in the months leading up to the wedding, she and I discovered that we had many more things in common. We enjoyed singing silly songs and telling inane knock-knock jokes. She came into our home officially six months after our wedding having previously lived with her paternal grandparents. It was a smooth and fulfilling transition. Later, I became mom to two more precious children, but Gayle was the first to honor me by calling me Mom. She captured my heart when she smiled and showed me her paper dolls.

Barbara C. Thomas, Chapin

My husband and I were childless for eight years, and I felt just like Sarah and Hannah in the Bible. I was one of six children, and we would visit my parents every Sunday afternoon, and my siblings would be there with their children, and there I sat with no baby to hold. Wanting a baby so desperately, it became an obsession with me. That was all I thought about was having a baby.

After numerous tests, the doctors told us that we would never be able to have a child, which was heartbreaking. So after much prayer and planning, we adopted a precious baby boy. When the case worker handed him to me for the first time and I held him In my arms, knowing that he was my baby, I became a Mom. Since that time, the Lord blessed us with two precious daughters.

Ruth Aycock, Sumter

I knew I was a Mom when my home had two cribs and a “big boy” bed occupied at the same time, by newborn twins and a 2 year old. In the middle of the night, after feeding my twins (with the help of my husband), I would get them back to sleep. Then came the best part – I would go from child to child looking down on their beautiful sleeping faces, so innocent and precious. I knew I was a mom because the sight of these three blessings would bring tears to my eyes. There is no other love like it in the world. My three are grown now but my love for them just grows deeper.

Liz Thomas, Columbia

One day my son and his younger friend came in from playing. Oh, so dirty. I sent them to bathe. Making sure they had a washcloth, I opened the door. The younger boy covered himself and exclaimed, “I thought you were one of the girls!” It was then I knew I was a mother and of another species.

Winifred Guichard, Irmo

I knew I was a mom when each of my boys were born and I looked into their eyes and fell in love over and over. But when my oldest son Richie gave me a Mother’s Day card last year, and reading what HE wrote inside, it makes me feel like a really SPECIAL mom:

“Mom, I really don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve always been there when I needed you most. You’ve made me the man I am today and I thank you for that. I only hope I can do for my kids as you’ve done for me. You’ve always put me and my brothers first and sacrificed so much to make sure we always had what we wanted and needed. And we are so lucky to be able to call you Mom. I will always be your little baby and never ashamed to call you mom. Thank you.”

Tracie Hewett, Forest Acres

I knew I was a Mom when being a Mom was taken away from me.

Thirteen and a half weeks pregnant, I was a Mom for every minute: my brain, finely-threaded happiness, eagerness, urgency, carefulness. But it was not to be. At 13.5 weeks. No heartbeat. Nothing. Maybe it’s too early? Miscalculated dates? Nothing is there. It left me mourning a loss that filled every fiber of me.

Eleven months later. Eleven gray months.

Problems – again? I cried as the sonographer searched my flat belly. My husband fighting Washington, D.C. traffic, racing to be with me. Alone, crying hard now with the sonographer, continuing the back and forth, fruitless search. Her hand stops moving.

Blip-blip-blip-blip-blip. She’s pointing to the screen. I am numb and crying harder. Blip-blip-blip-blip. Fast and steady beat the heart. She hands me black and white images. “Is your husband here yet?”

Outside on the bench by the hospital, I see his car. He hurries, sits beside me, puts his arm tightly around me, saying nothing. I can’t say a word, my hand shaking with the black and white pictures.

After time, “This is our baby. Everything is okay.” And he’s held us to this day.

Melanie McLean Michel

I knew I was your mom almost one year ago today on April 16. Your dad and I met with your adoption specialist to hear the story of your short life. We were shown a smiling picture of you and, at that moment, I knew ... I was your MOM! Everyday I thank God for you!

Kim Shannon, Greenwood

I knew I was a mom when my first child was born and grew up to be a fine young artist ... I knew I was a mom when she gave me my first grandson who grew up to be a tall handsome prosecutor ... I knew I was a mom when we went to the hospital to see his first child and my great-granddaughter ... little Olivia Rose, who will be 3 years old in June. I knew I was a mom when I became part of four generations of LOVE.

Anne Solomon, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I found out I was pregnant on October 10, 1992. I got pregnant with twins! It was a dream come true. On March 19, 1993, our children were born at 24 weeks. My daughter weighed 14 ounces and my son weighed a pound-and-a-half. When I was finally able to go see them in the NICU, they put me in front of my son’s bed. As soon as I said hello to him, his leg started to move. He knew I was his mom and that I would always protect him. When I met my daughter, she was the most perfect baby I have ever seen. I put my hand in the bed and started talking to her. Her leg started pumping and she grabbed my finger. I got to hold my twins for the first time together on Mother’s Day 1993.

Helen Pawluk

September 11 1984, Place: Richmond, VA – I had given birth to a baby girl. Everything seemed to go well. I took my daughter home the next day. My mom (Alice Warren) arrived ... excited to see baby Alicia. Soon Alicia began to have breathing difficulties. I looked at my mother and said, “I just got her.” It was like she was a new doll that I had just received for Christmas. I didn’t want her to be broken! That’s the moment I new I was a mom. Admitted and tested at the ER. Attached a breathing monitor. Scary diagnosis but manageable. SIDS. This year at Christmas Alicia received her Ph.D. from the University of Florida.

Wanda Forster, Columbia

I knew I was a mom when I changed my first DIRTY diaper.

Jo Ann Jennings, Batesburg-Leesville

I knew I was a mother when I was four months pregnant and began having concerns for the welfare of my baby. Those concerns are every-present, no matter how old they are. Once a mother, always a mother, is a beautiful thing. I am truly blessed. (Now ask me about being a grandmother! And great-grandmother!)

Margaret Sue Martin, Columbia

I knew I was a mom as soon as I saw my beautiful daughter in the delivery room the night she was born. My husband was a junior in college and I was not quite 20 years old, but knew deep in my heart we could give her lots of love and affection. That was 51 years ago, on May 12, 1965. ... She is grown up with a 9-year-old son, but she is still that “little girl.”

Virginia Cox, Sumter

I knew I was a mom when all 4 of my children (age 6 and under) got the chicken pox between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Good thing Santa Claus is real! Or was it the time I was hiding on top of the washing machine in the laundry room eating a Snickers. The 5-year-old found me, smiled and quietly closed the door. Or was it the time the child going off to first grade turned to me and said, “Mom, do not run after the bus.” Or was it the time I was called to middle school because my son had caused a “disturbance.” Seems he sat by the AC vent and had filled the classroom with soap bubbles. Being a mom has filled my life with joy and humility.

Erma Izard, Lexington

This story was originally published May 6, 2016 at 11:00 AM with the headline "Columbia mothers share their stories: ‘I knew I was a mom when...’."