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Now be a good teenager and go read Kylie Jenner’s lips

Here’s a #KylieJennerLipChallenge for Kylie Jenner’s lips: Wipe it off, girl.

Let’s see what this amazing lipstick/lip liner combination – the one she says makes her God-given lips go from Bruce Jenner Regular to Kim Kardashian Duck Quacker – is doing for her.

Let’s see what’s under there, shall we? It would be the easiest way to show teens they don’t need to stick their lips into a shot glass, suck out the air and hope that, best-case scenario, they’ve destroyed just enough blood vessels to look sexy-pouty and not too many blood vessels to look irreversibly-horror-movie-monster-pouty, which is unfortunately what’s happening.

Ah, you have questions.

Are teens really so dopey as to suction-cup their lips into cylinders of glass?

Answer: Yes, they are. You should see the photos. And the videos. And the drool. And the hospital bills.

Who is Kylie Jenner?

Short answer: Kim Kardashian’s youngest sister and emerging style icon. Long answer: Watch “Pinocchio.”

Is she really challenging people to get her puffy lips?

Answer: No. She has spoken out against it. The teens are challenging each other.


Answer: Because they are teens.

When will things go back to the way they were before “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”?

Answer: Sigh.

Jenner, who is only 17 years old and bears the weight of growing up on television, most likely had her lips surgically enhanced, which is a personal choice and an option available to teens whose mothers gave birth to all of the Kardashians.

Jenner denies that she received injections and instead credits her look to a 45-minute process involving lip liner, lipstick, grabbing and pulling her top lip, grabbing and pulling her bottom lip ... you know, normal, everyday stuff like that.

At least one business in the lip-puffery field, CandyLipz, has speculated that Jenner didn’t get surgery but actually uses their product, a flexible apple-shaped device that creates the same shot-glass effect without the shards of glass sticking out of your face. Facial bruising, though, is to be expected. It is, as CandyLipz’s blog says, “a little price to pay for humongous Bratz Dolls lips.”

If teens think the TV star is risking regular bruising of the face when she could easily afford to get top-of-the-line lip enhancement, then they’re using the shot glasses for more than just the lip silliness.

Drawing inspiration from what society has deemed aesthetically ideal is nothing new, of course, but the obvious danger of this latest fad has some wondering if reality TV and social media haven’t made it worse for kids who are just trying to figure life out.

“This makes me sad,” said Linda Burton of Bluffton. “Obviously there’s something out there that’s making teenagers feel like they have to do this. It’s definitely unhealthy.”

Burton is an aesthetician and makeup artist, who is opening a spa, Orchidea Skin Care in Old Town Bluffton, this May. Like many in the beauty business, she often hears about “flaws,” or the things people think are horrible about themselves, the features they’d like to change or cover up.

“Looks go way deeper than the makeup on your face, though” she said. “We need to embrace our natural beauty – with or without makeup.”

Teens don’t necessarily know this yet. They don’t know that looking like a celebrity isn’t the answer to happiness. But just ask my overplucked eyebrows, thanks to Drew Barrymore. Or ask Burton’s overplucked eyebrows.

“I made a HUGE beauty mistake as a teenager,” she laughed. “If you keep tweezing and tweezing, your eyebrows just don’t come back.”

Which brings me back to Jenner’s lips. If she’d rise to the #KylieJennerLipChallenge herself and remove her makeup, teens would get to see the truth about the pout.

Either the look is achievable through makeup – as Jenner says – or through surgery – as logic says – but it is most definitely not achievable through shot glasses.