In their most vulnerable hour, SC families visit through nursing home window

It was once a small gesture to Betti Nix Williams.

Every day when she would visit her husband Bill Williams, 75, at the Lowman Rehabilitation and Healthcare Center in Chapin, she would bring him a small dish of vanilla ice cream from Sonic and sit by his side as he ate, chatting about the day’s news, sometimes with the couple’s only child, daughter Kimberly, next to them.

But now those visits have grown much more complicated as the spread of the coronavirus in South Carolina — surpassing 1,200 cases and leading to the deaths of 26 people as of Wednesday — has led nursing homes to seal their doors to visitors, including family members, in an effort to keep its vulnerable population safe.

Families such as the Williamses are figuring out how to live in a new norm of isolation as the coronavirus has brought their way of life to a complete halt in communities across the country, forcing them and other families to find new ways to connect with their loved ones.

Phone calls provide some connection. But nearly every day for Williams, the only face-to-face connection she gets with her husband comes through Bill’s window which must remain closed.

The closest Williams, 74, can physically interact with her husband of 53 years is when the two press their hands against the glass — moments that Williams said make the small things, like bringing a small bowl of ice cream to her husband, seem even bigger.

“I still feel blessed that I have that much closeness with him,” Williams said. “And I know it means something to him. I know it does.”

For family members of those with Alzheimer’s and dementia, like the Williamses, the already daunting task of bringing their loved ones comfort is exacerbated in the age of the coronavirus pandemic.

Approximately 19,000 South Carolinians live in nursing homes, said Randy Lee, president of the S.C. Health Care Association.

And traditionally those homes have open visitation policies, but now are screening visitors if they allow them and employees, from taking temperatures to asking whether they are showing symptoms that may in fact be connected to COVID-19, Lee said.

Coronavirus, Lee said, is “the top concern. We’ve got a population with an average age of 82 years old.’’

“We’re not on what you’d call a lock down,” he continued. “But we are trying to stay inside our buildings and take care of the residents.”

Caring for residents includes everything from individually delivering meals to residents instead of joint meals, holding programs for residents in the hallways or over an intercom and connecting them with their families through Facetime and Skype apps.

Lowman, like other nursing homes in the country, is under order from the federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services to restrict all visitors and nonessential health care personnel, according to an explanation of the facility’s visitation policy provided to The State.

Exceptions include end of life care.

Williams said she tries not to bombard Bill about the coronavirus. She’s tried to explain why she can’t come see him, why she can only speak to him on the phone or see him through a window. She’s tried to explain why she can’t bring his ice cream straight to his bed.

“He cannot comprehend that, he cannot understand why I can come to the window and deliver ice cream out there, but I cannot come in and actually sit with him,” Williams said. “I want to be there, cut his fingernails. Those are things that I miss doing for him.”

Adjusting to the ‘new normal’

So far, Lowman officials said its facility hasn’t had any confirmed cases of the coronavirus.

Other nursing homes have not been that lucky.

This month, Lexington Medical Center Extended Care Nursing Facility reported four confirmed cases of COVID-19 at its facility, where about 353 residents currently live, said Lexington Medical Center spokeswoman Jennifer Wilson.

Wilson would not confirm on Tuesday how many of those who contracted the virus were residents of the facility or employees, saying she could only confirm the number of positive cases. But earlier this month Wilson told The State at least two of those who contracted the virus at the extended care facility were residents, not employees, including one male resident who was the first in South Carolina to die from the virus.

The facility is adjusting to its “new normal,” screening staff and taking their temperatures at the start and end of their shifts, according to a Facebook post on Monday. Employees also are required to wear appropriate protective equipment and practice social distancing.

Jennifer Gallo, a lifestyle adviser with Wellmore of Lexington senior nursing facility, said the challenge with nursing homes dealing with the coronavirus is simply keeping up with changing procedures and watching how the virus is changing in the United States.

“Our first priority is the safety of our residents, but yes, it’s hard, it’s challenging,” Gallo told The State. “Now, it’s just been maintaining policies and procedures and making it fun and exciting (for residents) in a world of chaos and uneasiness.”

Outside of Lexington Medical’s extended care facility, the South Carolina Department of Health and Environmental Control told The State on Tuesday it was not aware of another senior living facility with an outbreak.

“Not at this time,” a DHEC spokeswoman said. “However, our investigations are ongoing.”

The state’s health agency also said residents in nursing homes who are 65 and older are considered a top priority when it comes to testing in the state, according to the latest guidelines provided to health care providers

The Health Care Association’s Lee said nursing home and health care facilities are just like everyone else in the world right now.

“We are just sitting back as best we can and waiting.”

As far as small talk and witty banter back and forth, things haven’t changed, said Bill’s daughter, Kimberly Best.

“Things are very much the same as far as I am able to connect with him,” Best said. “In other ways, he can’t understand why this is happening. Suddenly, his family has stopped showing up and being there. We see him through the window so he knows we’re still there.”

Best, who is also the senior director of development for the Alzheimer’s Association’s South Carolina chapter, said it’s important for families to make sure their family members in senior living facilities don’t feel isolated.

“I definitely don’t want people to forget about their loved ones,” Best said.

Williams has taken her daughter’s message to reality. She’s lucky, she knows, considering her husband’s building is one story.

But it’s still difficult, she said.

“We can barely hear one another,” Williams said. “It’s been two weeks today since I’ve been allowed to see him. It’s sad enough that he’s there. That just tears my heart out. But then to not be able to see him, not to be able to really touch him I guess. That is very hard.”

Caring for a family member with dementia? Visit the Alzheimer’s Association at alz.org for what you can do to help your loved one.

Sammy Fretwell contributed to this story.

This story was originally published April 1, 2020 at 5:00 AM.

Maayan Schechter

The State

Maayan Schechter (My-yahn Schek-ter) is the senior editor of The State’s politics and government team. She has covered the S.C. State House and politics for The State since 2017. She grew up in Atlanta, Ga. and graduated from the University of North Carolina-Asheville in 2013. She previously worked at the Aiken Standard and the Greenville News. She has won reporting awards in South Carolina. Support my work with a digital subscription