TikToker vows to be the ‘mom’ at LGBTQ wedding when parents won’t. She’s not alone
TikToker Noah James was excited for their upcoming wedding, but they wanted to try to fix the one missing piece — to make things right with their biological mom.
Things had been rocky between them for a few years, according to their TikTok. But surely they could patch things up in time for one of the biggest days of Noah’s life.
But his mom said no. She would be out of the country on that day, he explained in a video he posted to TikTok, where he asked for “some mom love” from friends on the app.
“I feel unloved… unwanted,” they wrote in text on the video posted Sept. 17. “All I wanted was her love and support. It’s the one thing I’ll never get.”
The so-called Moms of TikTok immediately jumped in to offer that love and support Noah needed. And in the process, he gained a stand-in for his mom at the wedding.
Plenty of users from the “mom side of TikTok” offered to either be a stand-in for Noah’s mom, or come as the “wacky aunt” and bring a whole party of supportive people with them.
“Moms of TikTok are lining up to be your mom,” one user wrote. “You are worthy. You are perfect. Never let anyone make you think you’re not.”
One of them was beloved TikToker north_omaha_cat_lady, whose name is Rosie. She’s known for wearing mumus and featuring her cats in her videos.
“Where and when?” she demanded to know in an impassioned response she posted at the end of October.
“We will bring aunties and uncles and cousins and sisters and brothers and second cousins thrice removed,” she vowed. “If your family is not supportive of you, find a new family. I will stand in for your mother. If you don’t mind having an old fat mother in a mumu at your wedding, I will be there.”
Note: The video below contains strong language.
She pledged to pay for her plane ticket, lodging, and offered to walk them down the aisle. “Let me know,” she said. “We love you. We support you.”
The phenomenon is not unheard of. In 2018, founder of Free Mom Hugs Sara Cunningham went viral for offering to stand in as a mom at any LGBTQ wedding.
Then “TikTok Stand In Families” popped up, inspired by Free Mom Hugs, to help LGBTQ people find chosen families, including parents to stand in for weddings, LGBTQ Nation reported. The group has since changed its name to Stand In Pride International.
About 4 in 10 LGBTQ adults said they had been rejected by a family member or close friend because of their sexual orientation or gender identity in 2013, a Pew Research Center survey found at the time.
TikTok star Ophelia Nichols, known on the app as Mama Tot, also offered to stand in at Noah’s wedding. Nichols recently stood in at a wedding for one of her “tater tots” and even walked the bride down the aisle, she said on TikTok.
“Oh honey, I’ll come to your wedding if you need a mom,” she commented on Noah’s video with a heart emoji.
On Monday, Nov. 14, North Omaha Cat Lady was back with an update on the situation with Noah’s wedding.
It turns out Rosie and Noah live in the same city. And they planned to meet up and go out for ramen together.
“So, this is really happening,” Rosie said, referencing the video when she offered to come as Noah’s “mom” for their wedding. “I’m really nervous. I feel like I’m meeting my child for the first time. I’m going to stand in for Noah as their mother and we’re gonna make their wedding the best wedding there ever was.”
After their ramen outing, Rosie posted an update video in which she appeared visibly touched. She was positively beaming.
“I have a son!” she said through a huge smile. “I have a handsome son named Noah who is getting married to the most wonderful person ever named Bat. And I could not be happier.”
Rosie said they all had “such a fun time” together eating and talking.
“I was so excited we didn’t even get pictures together. I know — what a terrible mother!” she joked. Then she became serious again to deliver her next message for Noah.
“Noah, this mama is always gonna be there for you,” she said. “I’m proud of you. And I’ll be there at your wedding.”
Before the end of the video, she added with another elated smile: “What color mumu should I wear?”
This story was originally published November 18, 2022 at 4:59 PM with the headline "TikToker vows to be the ‘mom’ at LGBTQ wedding when parents won’t. She’s not alone."
