South Carolina’s transgender youths deserve support and compassion — not mean-spirited legislation

Just after starting second grade, our child asked my wife and me, “Why did you and Mommy make me a boy?”

That was not the first time that we had heard the question. From a very young age, our child — who was born and raised as a boy but identifies as a girl — has consistently asserted that she is female. We considered it a phase, but after many years we came to understand that our child is transgender.

Early on we sought professional help in the medical community for our child. We would see doctors, psychiatrists and therapists for counseling and assistance — and throughout that process we supported our child while still being mindful of her long-term future. However, the truth is that our well-intended caution likely exacerbated our daughter’s depression and anxiety, which eventually reached a point where she began to express suicidal thoughts. We worried that she might attempt to harm herself.

We gradually allowed our child to attend school with a more feminine presence, and during the fourth grade she began going to school as Olivia. It allowed her to blossom into the joyful girl that we know today. Our anxious, depressed child was suddenly very confident. Her feelings of despair and self-loathing seemed to disappear. Her self-esteem rose and she became a typical 10-year-old girl.

My daughter is 11 now, and we’re grateful that she can live in peace — and that our family can return to the daily joys and frustrations of parenting a preteen. Her teachers support her, her classmates have welcomed her into their friendships and other parents have largely sent us love.

These experiences sharply contrast with what’s happening right now in the South Carolina Legislature as lawmakers consider H4716, a bill that would target medical professionals who provide life-saving care for my daughter and other transgender young people under the age of 18.

The legislation would directly affect my family because we are currently seeking professional medical treatment for my daughter — including hormone blockers that would enable her to keep living happily as the girl she is now.

The reality is that this kind of care is supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics and most other major medical associations; in fact, the medical community has come to the consensus that transgender youths should receive support and affirmation. H4716 is a reckless effort by politicians to override medical science — and to insist that they know better.

Too often in American society we make decisions to reject or disagree with people because of external religious or social influences. These decisions often result in overreactions by citizens and legislators who think that forcing their views on everyone else will return society to some arbitrary “norm.”

H4716 is one of these rash overreactions, and it threatens to impede the freedom of South Carolinians to make educated decisions alongside medical professionals.

I want Olivia to grow up in a loving and supportive environment, but legislation like H4716 would shatter so much of the work that we’ve already done; in short, it would cause Olivia to once again experience the agonizing pain and anxiety that she faced prior to her transition.

When South Carolina’s lawmakers turn their attention to H4716 and other anti-LGBT proposals, they would be wise to consider families like mine – and they would be wise admit that they should leave decisions about medical care to the professionals.

David Bell lives in Charleston. A military veteran, Bell serves on the Charleston County School Board.

This story was originally published January 22, 2020 at 2:44 PM.