ACLU leader: I am transgender, and I want some facts out there about people like me | Opinion

Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of ACLU-South Carolina.

Like so many of us, over the holidays I visited with extended family members whom I have not seen in some time. For me, times like this can be especially interesting because I am transgender — born with a female body but with a male mind, heart and soul. Some of my relatives remember quite a different version of me.

Being a part of uncomfortable conversations with distant relatives is almost synonymous with the holidays for most of us. This time, I had my fair share of uncomfortable conversations — mostly about myths that are circulating about transgender kids.

These conversations aren’t just happening over holiday dinner. They’re also happening at the state house. South Carolina lawmakers are debating bills, including House Bill 4624, that would ban healthcare for transgender kids. So, for those with questions about transgender kids, I thought I’d put some facts out there.

Myth: There are a lot more transgender people than there used to be.

In the years since I came out as transgender, we’ve seen an increase in the visibility of transgender people of all ages. This is a good thing — more transgender people are finding acceptance and support from family and community so they are more willing to be open about who they are. Increased visibility has led to a perception that there has been an explosion in the number of transgender folks. But the transgender community is small. According to the Williams Institute at UCLA, there are 1.3 million transgender adults and 300,000 transgender youth ages 13-17 in the U.S. It just feels like a lot because many people haven’t felt safe to live openly until now.

Myth: Kids are too young to understand their gender.

It can be difficult to understand how a child can know their gender, especially since kids explore gender in many different ways. I remember my own son dressing up as a princess in preschool, despite his consistent assertion that he’s a boy. For most of us, our internal sense of gender is developed at a young age. Think about kids who aren’t transgender — we trust them to understand their true gender.

Myth: We’re hurting kids if we affirm them as transgender and allow them to transition.

I’ve heard so many people express genuine concern for all kids during this debate because none of us want kids to be harmed. Doctors, therapists, psychologists and other medical professionals agree: What’s most harmful for children is to be rejected for who they are. That’s why so many parents are supporting their children when they consistently express their gender. For young kids, that support often looks like using a different name or trying out a different hair style. For tweens, it might look like delaying puberty through medication to allow more time for a child to understand who they are. For teens, parents might help a child begin taking hormones to change the voice and body. It’s important to know that children in South Carolina don’t receive gender-related healthcare without parental support, and gender affirmation surgeries aren’t performed on people under 18.

The bills S.C. lawmakers are deciding would take decisions about the health of transgender kids out of the hands of parents and medical providers. It can be hard to understand what it means to be transgender, but here’s the most important thing to know: Like all youth, transgender youth have the best chance to thrive when they’re supported and can get the medical care they need when they need it.