Let them eat cake (after we have that bake sale)

A million here and a million there. More than $4.5 million in the past two years, actually. That’s the amount Richland School District 1 has missed out on due to gross incompetence. And the total could rise if the district doesn’t spend $5 million remaining in the federal allotment for Title 1 funding by Friday.

But not to worry. We can always have that time-honored school fundraiser: a bake sale.

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Assuming we can sell the cakes for $15 each, every parent not below the poverty level could donate one cake per child attending a Richland 1 school ($75,705); high school students not in poverty ought to donate one also ($20,010); employees should donate two cakes each since they got us into this mess ($126,870); in addition to the two they donate for being district employees, teachers should donate one more each because, uh, they’re teachers, and that’s what they do ($30,855).

That comes to a paltry $253,440, so we need to assess the school board members 10 cakes each for failing to take action when the first $1.4 million got overlooked ($1,050). And while we’re at it, how about 100 each from members of the State Board of Education ($25,500). They really may not be culpable, but let’s demand 100 each from Richland County Council members and the Richland County legislative delegation ($42,000). Wow, that’s $321,990. Only need $4,191,021 more.

All South Carolinians should care what happens to the kids in Richland District 1, so everyone above the poverty line — every baby, child and adult — will be charged $1. Don’t complain; that’s only half the cost of a South Carolina Education Lottery ticket.

That will raise $4,210,685, and we’ll be out of the hole with $19,675 to spare (unless Richland 1 can’t meet the Sept. 30 deadline). The extra 20 thousand dollars could be given to Richland 1 Superintendent Craig Witherspoon because, uh, well, just because.