Douglas: Oh, ye of little faith: Clearly,Haley is a financial magician

Here in Chesterfield County we have longed to see S.C. 9 widened to four lanes from Chesterfield to Pageland; lately we have worried that if it will actually revert to two lanes from Chesterfield to Cheraw first.

However, unlike Cindi Ross Scoppe (“Dear Gov. Haley: There’s no free lunch,” March 25), I take great comfort in Gov. Nikki Haley’s plan to decrease state taxes to fix our crumbling highways. If we are to believe that someone hacked into her Lexington Medical Center application to add a $125,000-a-year salary from her parents’ business — five times what she told the IRS she was paid — then her 2007 tax return reveals a true financial genius. A family of four reporting only $40,000 in income while living in a $370,000 home and driving a Cadillac SUV clearly demonstrates Gov. Haley’s extraordinary financial management abilities.

Now, I’m sure if I had reported that meager income, lived the same privileged lifestyle and had it reported in the media, state auditors would be knocking on my door faster than you can say “take a good shower.” But since we’ve not learned of any tax-evasion convictions, we must believe in Gov. Haley’s financial magic.

Much has been said about why she replaced financier Darla Moore on the USC Board of Trustees with one of her campaign donors, but the reason is obvious: Compared to Gov. Haley, Darla Moore’s financial-management prowess is so very sophomoric.

Gov. Haley should travel the state giving financial-management seminars. With her extraordinary abilities handling her personal finances, she could provide a great service to a state with so many citizens living in perpetual poverty.

There is little doubt that Gov. Haley is positioning herself for a role in the next GOP president’s administration. But while I think having a female president or vice president is long overdue, I’m afraid if the GOP nominates Gov. Haley as vice president it will doom the ticket, as the rest of the country might not believe in her “4 minus 2 equals 6” math.

But that’s OK. If Washington doesn’t come calling, I definitely see a lucrative post-governor career. Just imagine the infomercials: “Get Nikki’s Tricky Ways to Financial Success for only $99.95!”

I just hope S.C. 9 between Chesterfield and Cheraw isn’t down to two lanes by the time she’s peddling that potion.

Chesterfield

This story was originally published April 5, 2015 at 5:00 PM with the headline "Douglas: Oh, ye of little faith: Clearly,Haley is a financial magician."