Voices of Black Mothers United urges others to join work of making our homes safer | Opinion

The boy who shot and killed my oldest son Isaac was just 18. He’d never been in trouble before.

Now, he’ll be in his 50s before he leaves prison.

The person who shot and killed my youngest, Carlton, has never been caught.

I have buried two sons.

I rocked these two young men to sleep as babies. I watched them grow every day of their lives, until they left my home — only to see them cut down by senseless violence.

I have grieved more deeply than any mother ought to.

Orangeburg is one of the most violent cities in the state. It is also my home.

It’s a city full of people and places I love dearly, relationships that have made me who I am today.

I’ve known both grief and joy here. It’s a community I am determined to make safer.

But I’m aware of how intimidating this kind of change seems.

This work isn’t easy.

I’ve spent nearly two decades trying to figure out the best way to help other women and victims of violence, with varied success.

I know how complicated community restoration is, and how difficult it can be to turn a life around.

I know how tired and alone those who’ve been stricken by violence can feel.

God knows I know the grief and despair.

I carry it every single day.

I also know that the only people who can heal children and restore communities are the people who live there. And they don’t need just any sort of help, either.

After my second son’s death, I nearly couldn’t cope.

The losses were too much for me. I tried just showing up for work, church and Bible study. That wasn’t enough.

I tried biblical counseling. I tried telehealth. I joined group after group for bereaved parents, trying to find the support and network that I so desperately needed.

It wasn’t until I found Voices of Black Mothers United (VBMU) that I found the community that truly understood my grief. And because they knew what I’d suffered, they understood the problem the same way I did, and sought the same solutions.

They empowered me to make a change in my own community. And that change works through relationships.

We have to work to help our own kids, our neighbors’ kids and the kids we know on our street.

If we want to reclaim our youth, we must start in our own homes.

Build up the mothers you know.

Build up the young men you know. Teach them the value of their own life and of the lives of others.

Together, we can make our neighborhoods into islands of excellence, safe harbors for young men and women living in troubled communities.

Earlier this month, the Orangeburg County School District took a pledge against gun violence as part of the Day of National Concern. We want our children to think of the consequences of their actions.

Once you pull the trigger, there’s no retrieving that bullet.

Our children deserve a safer world and a better future.

Help me build it.

Michelle A. Green is the state chairperson for Voices of Black Mothers United, a project of The Woodson Center, and founder of Reclaiming Our Youth Services.