Looking back: Steve Spurrier’s best all-time quips

On Clemson coach Dabo Swinney:

After Swinney said of Spurrier: “He’s from Pluto, and I’m from Mars,” Spurrier fired back: “Dabo probably thinks there’s only, what, nine planets out there? I think I read where Pluto may not be considered one now.”

On Jadeveon Clowney getting a speeding ticket:

“I didn’t know Jadeveon’s car that could go that fast. He doesn’t have a pretty car like those FSU guys used to drive.”

On Father Time:

“The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”

On Georgia:

“Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

On a fire at the Auburn library that destroyed 20 books:

“The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

On Tennessee’s failure to make the Sugar Bowl while he was at Florida:

“You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

On Alabama:

“In 12 years at Florida, I don’t think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama … Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours.”

On his offensive line in 2006:

“Well, we can’t trade ’em. So I guess we have to coach ’em.”

On Florida State:

“You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

On Peyton Manning:

“I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

After USC beat Kentucky in 2011:

“Kentucky has a heck of a punter. I know that.”

On his future in 2014:

“One of my goals personally as a coach is to never get fired.”

This story was originally published October 13, 2015 at 7:58 PM with the headline "Looking back: Steve Spurrier’s best all-time quips."