Jadar Johnson struggled with depression, slept on former Clemson teammate's couch leading up to arrest

About seven months before Jadar Johnson and C.J. Fuller were two of the three men arrested in an armed robbery, Fuller was working to help Johnson recover from one of the most challenging situations of his life.

Johnson, a former safety at Clemson, was depressed and sleeping on the Clemson running back’s couch after abruptly retiring from pro football last July during the New York Giants training camp.

But thanks in part to Fuller's help, Johnson was at Clemson’s Pro Day March 15, working out for NFL teams in an effort to return to the football field.

Johnson spoke with The State newspaper after his workout in mid-March and detailed the rough stretch he went through in the months leading up to Clemson’s Pro Day. Johnson could not stop smiling as he discussed how he believed his life was back on track and how he hoped his story would be an inspiration to others.

Two weeks later, Johnson, Fuller and former Duke defensive tackle Quaven Ferguson were arrested on charges of armed robbery and possession of a weapon during the commission of a crime March 28.

It marked another twist to what has been an up-and-down past 15 months since Johnson helped Clemson to the 2016 national title.

DEPRESSION SETS IN

Giants training camp had just started in late July of 2017, and undrafted free agent Jadar Johnson had already had enough.

The Orangeburg native was dealing with “some bad relationships” and the smile and bubbly personality that he displayed throughout his four years at Clemson was nowhere to be found.

“A lot of pressure coming from different places, a lot of outside things going on as far as I had bad relationships going on, and then me trying to handle those relationships and keep my mind in football, my mind was just going crazy,” Johnson said, declining to discuss the specifics of the relationships.

Johnson was trying to get through the grind of training camp but said he was frustrated, depressed and unable to sleep.

He had been awake for more than 24 consecutive hours when he went to a member of the Giants support staff for help and told her that he was done with football and ready to return home. She assumed that Johnson was going through typical rookie struggles and encouraged him to hurry to a team meeting to avoid a fine.

When Johnson replied that he wasn’t worried about a meeting or being fined, he got the staff member’s attention.

“That’s when she was like, ‘OK, this is serious.’ I told her everything that was going on, and I got down into details with her,” he said.

Johnson spoke with Giants Director of Player Development David Tyree before meeting with former Giants general manager Jerry Reese.

Johnson was given a day to decide if he was certain he wanted to give up football, a day that he spent crying in his New Jersey hotel room, before he announced on July 30 that he was retiring and returning home to South Carolina.

“Those tears falling down my face, that was all of that built-up anger in me. All of the built-up situations that I had that I wasn’t talking about, that was me releasing that,” Johnson said. “That was that initial step (to) like it’s time for me to start talking about this. You can’t keep holding this in. It was hurting me too much. People don’t think that you can hurt mentally, but you can. Me crying was really like a cry for help, like I need to talk to somebody ASAP.”

SEEKING FRIENDS

Johnson flew to Columbia, met with his parents for a few hours after landing and immediately left for Clemson.

He wanted to be with his best friends, Fuller and former Tigers safety Van Smith, and the two welcomed him.

“The main thing we did is we just wanted to be a good motivation to him and be a good brother through the successes and through his struggles,” Fuller told The State days before his arrest. “We wanted to stay with him and guide him in the right direction.”

Johnson stayed with Fuller and Smith and slept on their couch in August of 2017.

“Nobody ever knew. We just wanted to keep it where nobody could easily access him and bug him while he was going through what he was going through,” Fuller said. “We were trying to give him that respect and that space so we didn’t tell anybody. We went on with our everyday lives and acted like nothing was going on, like it was normal. Sometimes if we had a practice or a meeting we might bring him a plate back or something but it was just little things where nobody would know.”

Johnson stayed in their dorm room in Clemson for about a month before leaving just before the Tigers opened the 2017 season.

GETTING HELP

While Johnson was in the Upstate, he was also getting professional help from Milt Lowder, a psychologist based out of Greenville who has worked with Clemson’s football team since 2009.

Johnson opened up to Lowder and had a realization in return.

“I wasn’t just suffering from depression, it was severe cases of depression,” Johnson said. “I’m not ashamed of calling it depression. That’s exactly what it was. I was depressed. That was my whole point of coming back and getting the professional help, because that’s really what I had to do. I had to stop being in denial about it … People would say that to me and I would take is as a negative term, like, ‘Man, I’m not depressed. What are you talking about? I’m not depressed. I’m just going through something.’ But I would definitely say it was depression.”

Johnson also felt like he was being helped by being back in the Upstate and around people who recognized him.

“It’s been some people that I’d see in the store, and sometimes they’d give me some words of encouragement,” he said. “They really didn’t even know what was going on but it was some positive people that were like, ‘Keep your head up, whatever you’re going through, you’ll get through it.’ That actually made me feel a little better too.”

GETTING ANOTHER SHOT

As Johnson started feeling like he was in a better place mentally, his love for football also returned.

He started working out again last fall and called Tigers coach Dabo Swinney prior to Pro Day to ask if he could go through drills with Deon Cain, Ray-Ray McCloud, Ryan Carter and other Clemson players auditioning for a job in the NFL.

Swinney agreed to let Johnson work out in front of NFL teams and believed that the former All-ACC safety was ready for a possible return to the National Football League. Swinney was stunned when he received the news that Johnson was retiring last July and was thrilled to learn that the defensive back was giving football another shot.

“I think he’s kind of rekindled that love for the game and the will to go compete and put the work in . . . He looks great,” Swinney said March 15. “I had several teams asking me about him out there today. Hopefully, he’ll get another shot and will have a chance to make it.”

Johnson said he received nothing but positive feedback from his workout.

“I definitely think I helped myself today, and what’s crazy is I’ve always been my hardest critic. But the feedback I got from everybody was all positive. I didn’t get any negative feedback. I really feel like today was a great day for me,” Johnson said. “I haven’t been this happy in a long time.”

POTENTIALLY LIFE-CHANGING ARRESTS

On March 28, nearly two weeks after an upbeat Johnson spoke about being over his depression and mental health issues, he was arrested in downtown Clemson, alongside Fuller and Ferguson.

Fuller announced in February that he was transferring from Clemson for his senior season and was set to take visits to potential new schools in the coming weeks. He informed Swinney that his plan was to graduate from Clemson, then head to another university to play, where he would be immediately eligible as a graduate transfer.

Johnson was hoping to use his story to inspire others who were going through similar problems.

The two were key members of Clemson’s 2016 national title team and had dreams of playing professional football.

“I just want kids to look at my story and be like, ‘OK, he was actually strong enough to talk about this.' Maybe I’ll give them the courage to do that same thing and not go through what I went through,” Johnson said.

Even if pro football didn't work out, Johnson and Fuller planned to use their college degrees from Clemson to have successful careers. Johnson has already graduated, while Fuller was set to graduate in May.

Instead, they are accused of breaking into an apartment in downtown Clemson, presenting and pointing a handgun at a victim in the apartment and removing a large amount of cash from the kitchen cabinet and a nightstand in the back bedroom, with Ferguson, according to arrest warrants.

The armed robbery charge carries a minimum 10-year prison sentence and a maximum of 30 years, under South Carolina law. The weapon charge carries five years.

If convicted, Johnson’s story will be used as a warning to others about making smart decisions, rather than being a story of inspiration and overcoming adversity.

This story was originally published April 3, 2018 at 8:58 AM with the headline "Jadar Johnson struggled with depression, slept on former Clemson teammate's couch leading up to arrest."